Better off this wayyy...

Being failed in a relationship quite a few times doesnt really crush my spirit of finding true love to be honest. I always believe that we all deserve someone who accept our flaw and be there to comfort us when things got rough. Ashraf was the only guy i'm serious with and i thought he was the one even with the on and off relationship. At that time, i thought we were meant to be, we cant get enough of each other and thats why we keep coming back after a fight. The thing is we were perfect for each other as a friend. He always understood me and always know how to comfort me. We still friends actually and we did catch up with our lives some time. And i was grateful with this friendship built after a relationship meltdown. Lols. 

But somehow after ending everything with joe this time around, makes me feel something else. Actually this was like my first time of being single and free eventhough joe and i wasnt really a couple. But i put too much in this relationship, i commit like we are somehow a couple. As you may or may not know, i meet a few good guys along the way but somehow this cover with blister heart of mine loyal to joe. So, technically even when my status was single that time, my heart doesnt. However, this time around, i am truly single. I didnt have crush on anyone or even commit to anyone.. This was actually good sebab at least for now i can learn how to stand with my own to feet and know who i want to be, know who i really am. I realize yg all these time i'm with ashraf and joe, i was so dependable on them. Sebab tu bila dorng pergi, i hilang arah and it feels like half of me just dead. Sebab i terlalu depend on dorng smpai i loss myself in the process. So this time around, its time for me to find myself and be independent.

I didnt lose hope on love or finding someone to spend the rest of my life with. I just dont think that idea is relevant anymore. And the idea of me falling in love again seems like an illusion. But maybe somewhere in the future i might falling in love again tapi entahlah. My heart kinda close for anyone right now. Maybe it seems like it was all because of him. Maybe but the heart just tired of getting hurt and care too much and being let down all over again. Maybe i am better off alone. And even if i am. I totally fine with it. People are like so judgmental and narrow minded. So what if i dont want to settle down and so what if i want to live happily single? This is an era where women are independent and capable of doing things on their own. We dont need a man. I dont need a prince. At this moment, this is what i think lah. We never know what the future holds for us.

Single is good. Single is better. There is nothing wrong with being single or alone. You get to know yourself and you got to do the things you wanna do all this time. I bet a few of the things in your bucket list has been cross off or add in. It is okay to be single and not rush in love. Love will come in various unexpected ways. Dont plan it. Just go with the flow. Lived your life and be happy guys. Have fun while you can. Sebab lepas you kahwin, everything "terikat". So enjoy your single life while you still can and be happy guys. Be really happy. and thankful with everything.