Tpi nad call aku.. Well, actually nk bincang psl hal nk hangout nnti.. Tpi ttbe aku dgr suara die laen mcm tau.. Aku pn tnyelh npe n just spill it out lh.. Then, die tetbe cry.. I mmg dh worry lh.. Yelh, Dhira yg aku knl slalu cool je.. Mcm aku ah.. Tpi die lgi ganas.. Haha.. Ok2.. Serious.. Rpe2nya die dh break.. Gle ah.. Selama nie nad mmg dh slalu sbut yg dorng break tpi xlme pn selang bape jam dh couple blik. N selama nie aku n kwn2 aku pn mcm xkisah je. Tpi this time, i could feel that its different. Aku dpt rsekn yg kali nie its for real.. N kalo dorng couple blik pn maybe a few month or year later tpi spmehow, aku xrse pn mcm 2. Aku rse mcm like its really are the end.. Xtaulh.. Aku bkn nujum pak belalang.. Cme tu yg ati aku rse.. But we never noe right.. Aku mmg sedih ah tgk Dhira mcm 2 n ttbe aku tingt ape yg jdi kt aku sethun yg lalu, mse break ngan ashraf..
Mse tu dh nk msuk 8buln kteorng together. ashraf pn dh msuk kolej n die mmg bz gle. Part of me nk percaya yg die realy2 are bz tpi part of me xnk caye.. Yelh, bygkn keorng xmsg almost seminngu kot.Lpas tu nk msuk 8buln tu, aku mmg confirm yg kteorng xsmbut together mcm slalu. Kteorng always celebrate every 1month kteorng together. Mle2 aku mmg xbiasa. 1st time kot. Ashraf nyer idea ah nie. Tpi lme2, biasa ah. Xsmbut rse mcm pelik je.. Sbb tu ah aku slalu ingt tarikh kteorng couple. Ala, lgipn tarikh tu mmg special gle dlm idup aku. Aku pn xperasan mle2. Tpi dh bape minggu tu bru aku perasan. The date i said YES was equal to the sum of my BOD with ashraf. Mmg xdisngka2 ah.. Haha.. Ok2, blik2.. Aku mmg dpt rse something is wrong psl yelh die pn xlyn aku, xmsg aku tpi tulh.. Aku tutup mata aku so that aku perasan.. Bnde yg aku ble perasan mse couple ngan ex2 aku dlu, aku ley lak xperasan ble ngan ashraf.. Tinggi tol ilmu mamat nie.. Tpi aku silap.. Coz one day b4 kteorng smbut 8month tu, Ash msg aku. N yeah, we talk a lot. The esknya kteorng smbut together. Seriously,
he make me feel very special that day. He make me believe that he wont leave me like ever. He convince me that he want us to last forever. Sumph, aku ltak 200% trust kt die mcm yg die mintak. Wlau ati aku rse laen mcm sket tpi aku tepis tu smue sbb aku percaya die. N that whats my mistake.
TRUST.. Lpas ari 2 kterong stop msg. N aku wait ari jummat psl die ckp die akan msg i ari 2 no matter what. But he didnt. So, aku tnggu esknya. Yeah, die msg aku. Tpi dgn niat laen. Die mintak break sblum sempat aku lpaskn rindu yg dh makin melarat aku pedamkn.. Mmg aku rse sakit sgt mse tu. Aku rse mcm aku dh terkurung dlm satu bilik yg kecil n gelap. Yeah, aku nangis.. Pling teruk sekali. Setiap ari aku nangis wlau rse mcm air mata nie dh xnk kluar lg dh, aku tetap nangis. N yeah, it hurt.. a lot.. so bad.. Aku beg die not to go. But die tetap nk gi.
Die halau aku, die ckp die dh xsyg aku lgi. Tuhan je tau betapa sakitnya rse die. N yeah, aku alami serius break dowh. Aku xde mood nk bwat pape, aku moody. But then, as u noe, kwn2 aku bwat wake up call, joe pn sme.. Aku bersyukur sgt coz wlaupn ashraf tinggalkn aku tpi kwn2 aku ade n aku tau dorng xkn tinggalkn aku. N mmg lpas tu, aku dpt tau ashraf dh ade penganti aku lpas bape ari kteorng break. Hell, perkara lpas. Xperlu dikenang tpi tulh yg aku kenang. N perkara tu mmg jdi kenangan pling pahit sekali dlm idup aku. Hempedu pn kalah pahitnya kot. haha..
N as for nad, cte die akan2 sme je mcm aku. Cme ashraf xse cruel pakwe die lh coz wlaupn ashraf hlau aku n say those word kt aku, tpi pakwe nad lgi ganas ah ayat2 die. Kalo aku jdi nad, aku bkn setakat rse sakit je tpi dh nazak dh pn. But i noe nad love him so much n dorng pn dh nk msuk 2tahun. They already get use of it. Tpi aku ade tpkir due bnde je npe dorng break.
1) Maybe btul ape yg laki tu ckp, die mmg dh xsyg lagi nad tpi
2) He just have to do it bcoz why, i dont noe. but he just have to. n he said all thos mean words to nad coz he just want her to hate him n so that he wont feel like kesian kt nad n dtg blik mcm slalu. Enthlh, 2 yg aku tpikir ttbe lh. Yelh, dorng like byk gle dugaan. Bru couple, blum lgi kahwin. But they strong. Just maybe, this time, one of them just had to gave up n sacrifice.
So is this the end?? Aku sendiri xdpt nk pastikn. Ati aku kata mcm tu. So, aku hrp n doa2 kn nad be strong. Esk aku nk tgk die lh.. Risau tau. She's one of my coolest bestfriend. Die slau protect kwn2 die, protect aku. So, its time for me to do to her pulak.. Tpi satu yg aku pasti.. Between me n ashraf, it is the end.. Aku tau die xkn dtg blik dlm idup aku. Wlaubgaimana ku bhrp pn, he just not going to come back. Coz tu yg die ckp the last time we were together, when i ask him,
'npe u dtg blik?npe u xpegi je??' n die jwb,
'kalo die gi, die gi selamanya, xkn kembali'. So there, he just wont come back.. Not this time, not right now.. But one day, maybe someday...
