I am done

I ingat lah kan lepas along nyer wedding, no one would ever bring that question ever again. But i was wrong obviously. Memamg tak lah kan dorng nk stop tanya bnde alah tu. It will never stop and will follow me for the rest of my life... or maybe sampai.. i dont know.. i kahwin??

Hahahahaha... i kahwin? Well, maybe dulu i boleh imagine that thing. Masa i dengan ashraf a few years back. Or masa i like so deeply enchanted with joe a few years back. But now, right now. I dont think so. I dont imagine that anymore walaupun ye i ada lah bayang or berangan or talk about it especially masa joe bring that up. But i dont know. He doesnt seem that serious and i see zero effort from him so far. So it was easy to say that i crush that dream so that it wont break me if somehow it didnt came true somewhere in the future. Beside people like me are destined to be alone and do not have an happy ending.

And it is okay. I sedar diri. So instead of probably put myself out there and searching for love or guy. And instead of waiting for joe to come to his sense and come around. I decide that i was better off alone and happily enjoy myself. I decide that instead of focusing on people and things, i should focus on me, i should have love me. I tau ia nampak mcm pathetic gilerr. But no worries. It is ok. This is the life that i choose and i just need to bear for it. 

Once upon a time, i admit that i believe in love and have faith that there will be someone for me someday. But after been broken for quite a few times, i stop believe it and somehow i admit i lose faith. The thought of having someone just a delusion that we put in our minds because we are so into the 'they lived happily ever after' phrase. And somehow i am just so freaking tired of loving more, caring more and trying more. With joe, that is what i have been doing for the past few years. It was so exhausting. I never put too much effort in keeping a relationship this long. Then, when it ends, it took me a very long time to rebuild myself and to move on and be happy again.

And for that, i am done. Thats all i could said. 

For that questions, it is irritating for sure but then i have to just fake a smile and acted as if it was nothing. After all it just a question je kan. Takkan i nk tanya dorng bila dorng nk meninggal pulak kan? Ajal and pertemuan kan semua di tangan Allah. And i leave soal jodoh ni semua pada Dia. Kalo ada, adalah. Kalo takde, i gi travel around the world kumpul memory and experience. Lols.

Past and future

Its the end of the year. Again. Its weird how fast everything goes and now we came to the end and near to the beginning of the year. Again. Lols. Like any other year, i mesti ada bwat like farewell-kinda-post so same goes to this one.

I tak sure i reach the goal i made for 2016 because i didnt really have one. I made it along the year and cancel it if it doesnt feel right. So sebab tu i kinda lupa goal apa i bwat. Hahaha.. Or maybe i eat or drink yg ada byk semut. Hmm.. maybe.. So as you know, i dh graduate. Alhamdulilah. And alhamdulilah i didnt gave up and i tried my hardest to finish my studies. And insyallah kalo ada rezeki i akan smbung master next year in tak tau lah bidang mana sebab i apply marine science in ukm and business admin in uitm. So kita lihat lah rezeki i ni jatuh kt mana. And ingt tak post i about being happy, losing myself, finding myself blah blah blah... Ingt takkk??? Well, i rasa dh nk akhir akhir tahun ni baru i rasa like i really really be happy instead of faking it like most of the time. About old me.. nahh.. she's gone... and there is nothing i could do.. but im happy with myself and embrace it somehow. Im just happy.. Hahahaha.. Even tgh typing  for this post ni pun i rasa mcm nk keep on tulis perkataan happy tu je.. maybe sebab lagu chainsmoker ni kot... Lols... Beside lagu yg happy kn like boost our mood kan kan kan???...

And since it is the last of the year, i decided to clear something that makes me unhappy or whatsoever.. First on the list is facebook. Gosh, i hate facebook. I really really hate it. Like i think since last year i rasa nk delete je account i tu tpi since my classmates semua keep on posting past year paper and it was easy to communicate with any group assignment, so i think takpelah stay dlu. Selesai everything baru delete. And now it really is the time. I pun bukan on selalu pun. Like bile orng sruh on baru i on or kalo tak pun sebulan sekali kot. Lols. I tau facebook ni lah kita nk connecting with people and tau hal semasa blah blah blah shit... Please lah... I boleh tau dri twitter gak ok and much faster. And about people. Well, mostly kwn yg i kenal ada insta and twitter. I think i can catch up with them through these two. Beside i rasa mcm tak selamat dgn facebook mungkin sbb i rasa terlalu 'open', terlalu public and terlalu byk sgt related. Kang i tulis something kang ada yg terasa lah apa lah. Pastu tak like ke apa ke nk sentap lah apalah. I bosan ok. I takde masa nk layan perangai sorng2 mcm ni. Kalo i nk unfriend or tak approve friend request kang ada yg buat muka lak. Ughh.. Strees tau. So better i delete. At least semua orng equal di layan nyerr... Ye dakkk???

Secondly, to be really honest with you guys.. i kinda glad that i remove some people in my life. Ok takde lah remove sgt. More to i avoid jumpa dgn dorng kalo boleh. Kalo terjumpa, i just fake face jelah. Tapi kan lately tak ley sgt nk fake face. Ia tak menjadi. Sekrng ni mulut i akan terlepas je cakap things yg involve sarcastic to people yg i dislike. I tau it is a very bad habit. But it is a habit and i cant help it. And also, maybe since i built my wall so high, i rasa sgt ssh nk trust people. Like really really susah. I didnt trust people easily. Even those yg dlu i percaya pun sbb dh tak bape rapat, i terus hilang kepercayaan sikit. Oppssyy.. Dont get me wrong, maybe if you give me time, maybe just maybe, the trust can be built? Maybe... Tapi jgn lah marah. Im like totally a different person now. So please excuse me.

Lastly, i nk clear you guys psl joe and i. As you know last year i confess feeling i kt joe and it was not sebab tak tahan ke apa tpi mcm mungkin jugak kot. Hahaha... Main reason dia is i just nk dia tau je, i just nk luahkan so that i takkan regret sbb at least i dh luahkan. Dia suka or tak suka i tu belakang kira. I was on the edge to move on. I dh ckp clearly and firm dia tak perlu balas tpi dia gedik nk gak balas. And sbb i dh set mind dia akan ignore i or dia anggap i kwn blah blah blah, so bila dia ckp dia pun ske i, i numb. I tak tau nk rasa apa, n beri reaksi apa. FYI, kteorng tak relay. He is not my boyfriend and i wasnt his. But we were good. Tpi lepas lelama i realize we were different people now and we want different things. Wlau mcm mne i nak save friendship kteorng i just tak boleh. Some things cant be fixed. I lose myself in the process of chasing him. And i keep destroying myself by giving him chances and whatsoever. He was long gone and i just force something that really wasnt meant to be. I mean, i patut lepaskn je dia dlu. I patut biarkan je dia pergi masa dia menghilang dulu. Bodoh betul i ni. I terlalu sayangkn friendship kteorng and sbb tu i hold on, But whatever. I rasa kalo i boleh putarkn masa, i akan buat bnde yg sama gak. Sbb bnde yg sama tulah menjadikan i yg ini. Mungkin i lembap nk perasan all these red flags but i finally did. And those day i thought i never get through, i got over him.

Ok dah dah.. ni mcm sesi heart-to-heart pulak. Anyway, 2016 has been bittersweet memories but somehow close to my heart. Its the year di mana i rasa almost nk give up, takut tak siap tesis, tak graduate. But then i did. I jumpa lots of people this year thanks for my internship. And spending time with my close friendship. Gi stadium larkin tgk jdt lawan, usha2 azrif. Hahaha.. Thanks for my parents yg merealisasikan my bucket list. Cewah. Lari ke penang nk tenang kn fikiran kononnya but at the same time spent time and bwat sesi heart-to-heart ngan fiqah. But the truth is, home is where the heart is. Sbb mcm i dgn fiqah agree, dudk rumah ni kita munasabah diri and thats what i did. This 2016 also was the year i realize i deserve better and amazing thanks to this person who someone change my perspective view. And before this joe help i move on from ashraf and eventhough this particular person siap offer nk pick up the pieces (cewah!), i just need to move on by my own.

I sayang friendship i dgn joe but at the same time, i want to be happy and this friendship doesnt make me happy anymore. This is like one side friendship cause he never care, he never there. And i slowly learn to walk away from things that make me unhappy.

 So for 2017... tak mengharapkan pape sbb harapan tu mengecewakan. Hahahaha... Just that semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan dan semoga i lebih mendekatkan diri dgn Allah. Semoga i dpt smbung master or dpt keje yg lumayan. Hahaha.. Insyallah. Semoga segalanya baik baik sahaja. And that i really really be happy and just enjoy this life to the fullest. Beside nothing last forever. :)

So, farewell 2016 and hello 2017. May this 2017 bring us happiness and good things along the year. Insyallah.

2016

I didnt plan on making any goals or resolutions for this year sbb ada potential untuk i bwat sgt sgt lah rendah. Beside i might gonna forget about it after a few months. Semangat dia awal2 je. Last2 end up bwak ke thun depan gak. And the cycle repeating. So whats the point kan?

For this 2016, i hope i graduate on time and i hope i become happier and more positive. Not that i dont. I want to focus more on myself and pleasure myself and put myself first and make myself happy. Point dia self love lah and focusing more on myself. Tu je. And hoping that whatever accidents come on my way will be happy ones. And i want to go travel, see the world and live my life to the fullest. Thats all.

And tak dilupakan juga yang aku, tahun ni..

Ok. Happy new year korng. :) Whatever u set your goals is for this year, i hope it goes well and u achieve it. Take care and be happy, be your own self. :))

PS: Maaf entry tahun baru pendek gle nk mati. Mcm tak semangat je smbut thun baru. Haha.. Ala, kalo i tulis pnjg2 pun bkn korng nk baca pun kan. At least ada something kn. * angkat kening

2015

Goal for 2015? Nope i dont have any. Aku rasa mcm ble aku tetap kn sesuatu tu mostly dia xjadi pun mcm mana aku harap and last2 aku xdpt pun capai. Ye dgr mcm orng yg putus harapan. Tpi x sebenarnya. Sbb kdg2 kte xtau apa yg ada di masa hadapan tok kte. Apa yg Allah dh set from the top tok kte. Entah kte ada kt muka bumi nie lagi atau dh pergi menghadap pencipta. Kita xtahu. Sbb tu aku xnk plan pape this year. Aku nk everything go with the flow. No planning and no whatsoever. Cme harapan aku thun 2015 nie segalanya baik2, everything goes well. And i stay the same tpi mungkin ke arah lebih  baik. Insyallah. Meaning no cursing word no. No middle finger wlaupun xtnjuk kt jari. Cme sebut je. And be my own self. There's are nothing i want to change about me. I kinda like this version of me. I want to live my life to the fullest and enjoy every little things. Then, i want to move forward, move on and let go. Aku nk memulakan kehidupan baru. This new year is the beginning/starting of something new, something amazing. Kira mcm starting everything all over again. Thats's a point of new year kn? Aku nk letak semua perkara yg lepas di belakang dan fokus untuk masa hadapan, masa akan datang. Aku nk beri peluang untuk perkara baru dan orng2 yg baru aku jumpa. Aku xnk lgi hidup dlm masa lampau mcm tahun2 yg sudah. Berpegang pada bnde yg xpasti, berharap pada bnde yg tidak ada. Untuk tahun baru nie, aku masih lagi orng yg sama, mungkin pendirian aku dah berubah. Dan mungkin aku menjadi sorng insan yg lebih tabah, cekal after all those heartbreak and crying. Tpi aku masih lagi si gadis pelik yg xske fikir remeh temeh tpi otaknya berserabut dngn pelbagai kata2. Ayat aku nie dh serupa puitis mcm kt blog bebelah hati aku. Stop2. Nie blog laen yg syg. Jgn terbawa2. Haha.

But most of it all, i want to be the happiest and most adventurous version of myself possible for this 2015. Insyallah.

P.S. : Maaf entry sket tok tahun baru nie. Nk final beb. Semlm dh settle satu paper. Now 6 paper to go. Wish me luck. Insyallah next time, ada masa, n free, aku update panjang jela smpai nk tmuntah korng baca. Hehe.. Xdelah. Aku xdelah kejam sgt. Lols. 

Happy new year guys btw :) semoga thun baru ni kita jadi insan yg lebih baik drpd sebelumnya. insyallah. dan semoga segala goal yg korng tetapkan tok thun 2015 nie tercapai. Aku nie je asyik forward2 smpai last2 dh mlas, So go with the flow je. Lgipun amazing things happen unexpectedly. Sape tah ckp. Aku copy n paste ayat dia je. Hehe... :D

2014 :)

2013 had taught me lots of things. The true enemy. The figuring out urself. The changes. The love. I meet lots of new people along the way. I met my fellow new classmate, azmil, clone joe, faris, mastura.. yeah.. lots. I make lots of memorable moment too which some i already conclude in my previous previous blog.

But to sum it all.. i think 2013 had taught me that 'pain change people'. In this world we never escape from being judge. Ive been judge a lot. There was one time that they judge me so bad i feel like i wanna cry. And to make things worst, joe wasnt around when i need him. I lost all my mood and i just shut everyone out including my family. Like my parents keep on asking whats wrong but i just say nothing when everything was wrong crossing on my face. I think my dad knew but he know that i need some space. So he didnt say a thing. I did cry actually. But it was the very last one. I mean for those mean people. I mean i shouldnt cry bcoz of the shit they say bcoz they are full of shit and they are just like shit. Sorry for swearing too much. And trust me i feel lot better after that cry. I pull myself back and i told myself that i prove them that they were wrong. That i shouldnt give a damn of what they said. Thats why im start the figuring out things. And after a while i realize it was never for them. It was for me. And it feels good. It does. Im happy with myself. Im accepting the changes.

So, 2014 huh? Happy new year btw.

This year im planning to being open. Im done figuring out. I mean i think for now i accept myself. I love myself. Yeah, im not perfect. And i love my imperfection. This is me for a while. And im not changing it. Not even a bit. For now lah. Being open was meant that i open my mind and my heart and my soul eventhought this sentence seem a little bit weird. Nevermind.

Open mind is where i accept what people saying. The -ve and the +ve. And if it was -ve, just let those shit out of my mind. But if it was the +ve, lets keep them in ourself. Open mind is open minded. So, i shouldnt really judge people just bcoz they are different. Different make them unique. And who know they were good hearted eventhought their appearance was like that. I mean, i deal with this before. Look does not define personality. Or maybe someday they change. It just a matter of time.

Open heart is where i open my heart to people. Not all people okay. Certain. Hehe.. I knew the promise i make to joe blah blah blah.. i still hold on it. But if im gonna fall in love with someone along the way, so be it. This time around i wanna keep things low and au natural. I wanna things to go with the flow. Im done planning.And who would ever thought that i meet my other half if joe wasnt the one for me lah. Or i just meet someone. Who knew right.

Open soul. This one is a bit blur.. but for all i know.. i want to learn new things, make mistake and fall in love. explore the world. be good and do good deeds. do lots of crazy things. be fearless. and be myself. I had my anthem songs now.. so i will be okay :)

oh. one thing.. maybe i should stop rely on joe too much. maybe this around i should be independent coz maybe one day he wont be there. for me.

2013 :)

Happy new year guys! Alhamdulilah, masih bernafas tok menyambut tahun 2013. Semoga tahun 2013 lebih baik drpd 2012. Insyallah..

So, this new year eve and this new year, i smbut alone in kmj in my room. But surprisely, dpt gak tgk firework wlaupun xlah sehebat mana but bleylah. I enjoy watching the firework wlaupun kejap. But rasa kosong sketlah sbb slalu smbut ngan family tgk firework and pastu gi mkn2. But nie lepas tgk fireworks trus tdo sbb ada kelas esoknya. Great! Johor xambik cuti lak tahun baru. Got to get use of it somehow.

So, 2012 leave me a bittersweet journey which some i forgot. Haha.. But i think i enjoy it. But.. still hoping for better in 2013. My goal for this year?

Well, im gonna enjoy every moment of it. I want to fill it with happiness, joyful, fun and unforgettable memory. I want to live my life to the fullest. Semoha perjalanan di tahun 2013 nie diberkati Allah SWT. Insyallah.

Pejam celik pejam celik rupanya dah nk abis matriks dah. Tinggal 4bulan je but less than that if xcampur cuti smue. Im gonna miss it. Haha.. Pelik kan dulu benci lah, nak cepat abis lah.. bila fkir balik, acually it wasnt that bad. I got to meet new people and create a new memory with them. Tu yg best.

And the girls.. the girls are so sweet. i hope our friendship last till we get older. Alhamdulilah, wlaupun berjauhan. Yelah, sorng belajar kat  palam, sorng belajr kat melawati, sorng belajar kat gombak, dua orng kat tangkak. Jauh kay.. Tpi alhamdulilah lah, tali persahabatan tu xputus. It still strong and we got to meet each other time cuti, catching up what had been lefts. Lepas nie nak degree dah. Hrp dpt tempat sama,. Kalo xdpt sama pun, jgn lah jauh sgt. Nie pun dah rindu tau..

And tahun nie gak, i think im gonna leaves the past in the past and just dont look back. Things happen kan. And i do regret tapi nk buat mcm nie. It was irreversible. So, i took it as a lesson in my life. So, tahun nie, i want to ignore all the unimportant things, all the unnecessary matter and all those annoying people. Annoying biasa2 bley lagi tapi annoying thap nk balik seliper tu, ha, yg tu bahaya sket. Haha.. 

About the bf thingy. I know i ada ckp ngan farah yg after 18 im gonna look for bf. But im turning 19 this year. So much with the talking huh? Tapi xpe. I decide xnk ada bf lagi for now. I want to focus on my study first, berbakti pada parents dlu. Tpi hrp2 by 23 dah ada lah.. Haha.. Insyallah. Amin.. But for now, yg peting sekali, i want to enjoy my single life and ready to mingle. Lols. :D

Last but not least, i hope to be a better person this year and enjoy this ride called life. Insyallah :)

What I want actually

Assalamualaikum.. Just got back from daftar kelas guitar. Okay, i really want to learn it before aku spm lagi but then ble dah dpt, im not sure. My dad tetbe ckp kat aku yg die dah tgk kelas music one day and he ask me if i want to join there. And i was like... I dont know. Yelah, all of sudden kan. And actually my mind keep on changing kot. Mse my mom cte kat nenek n my aunt psl this guitar lesson, they was like "yeah you could be like yuna or najwa latif". And i was like, i dont want to be like them. This thing like for fun. Things that i did during my free time. And beside i love writing lyrics. Is not about being a famous pop star. But i want to be the best song-writer. Thats all. So, ble dorng ckp mcm tu, it make me think mcm nah this thing maybe not for me. What if i cant be like they hope on. Byk kali gak lah die tukar. Kejap nak, kejap xnk. Die yg xnk nyer sbb ape yg orng hope kita to be coz kita bukan nak jadi mcm yg dorng harapkan or nak. But then i think, "who cares? this is me. this what i want to do. this is my fearless project. well, one of it. So, there it goes. Im going to take guitar lesson and it starts tomorrow. No turning back. So wish me the best! I can do this!

Happy 2012 :)

Assalamualaikum readers. Hehe.. Happy 2012.. Alhamdulilah, i still breathing and i am in good condition. For this 2012, i know that of course people set goal and i wish you guys achieve it. Insyallah. So, my goal for this year was to be a better person. Insyallah. I didnt mean like last year i was evil. Just not good enough je lah.. And this year, insyallah nak cari my Mr. Right terus lah. Eventhought i know i probably will found a few guy on the way to find my prince charming. Tapi xkisahlah. I know i found him when i started to feel something. Maybe i did found him already. Eh, entahlah. But i really wish i will meet him in the future. Hoping he will study at the same place as i was. Sape sape??? Adelah... hehe.. Tapi pelik lah. i just met him like a few minutes and now i've been thinking about him almost a month?? Gila! hehe...


Bulan 3 nnti insyallah result SPM keluar. Memang nervous. Hanya Allah je tahu. But somehow i am not hoping too much. Of course lah i want to get straight A's but i am pround whatever i got coz i try my best remember. But still kalo bley i want to get a better resutl so that my parents will proud of my achievement. Insyallah. I will try to make myself a dentist like they want to. Insyallah. And most of all, i will try to be a good daughter to them. My bff (farah,nad,mai,nadia,amalina n aisyah) we still together and i hope the bonding still strong till dah tua kot. haha.. insyallah..


My friendship with ashraf was good. Alhamdulilah coz i finally move on. For sure. After 3yeras of loving him. 3years? Gila! But i admit i still love him but not like i use to before. I did text Joe kot. Wishing happy new year like i did. Selalunya die akan reply walaupun lambat. But its been 2nd of Jan. Ok, i try to think positive. Maybe kredit die abis ke or maybe die off fon (walaupun aku xdpt mesej dri maxis yg show die off fon -.-). Tapi bila dh smpai lah nie xblas2, something is wrong. Totally wrong. Xpelah. Kalo orng dh xsudi nak kwn ngan kita bwatpe kte dok tunggu lagu tu je kn. Lebih baik kte move on. Nilah dduk kt langkawi 2minggu, bahase pun dah ikut lagu sana dah. hehe.. So, i wish nothing but the best for you joe. And as far as i want to say dont forget me. I know you already did forget me. So, sekian. :)

I have decide

Finally.. the moment of true.. aku harap aku xkan ragu2 lagi or was2 lgi lah. insyallah..

Aku dah decide dah... ape yg aku nak.. and yeah, it was part of my parents punter choice but i think they know the best for me kan?? 

Okay2.. i think i want to be dentist.. there, i said it! A dentist... insyallah bley.. yg penting ikhlas dan bersungguh2..

Okahlah, tu je nk ckp.. hehe.. bubye... have a nice day readers.. :)

When I Grew Up

Yeah, when i grew up... Nope, it was not like lgu pussycat doll tu coz die tahu ape die nk jdi ble die gre up nnti. But me, i'm opposite than that. Seriously, aku jeles tgk orng yg dh tahu ape yg die nk jdi ble die dh besar nnti (xtcampur ngan bdk2 bwah darjah3 ye).

Time aku kecil2 dulu, aku ingat nk jdi cikgu. Mcm best je. Ble hari guru je, dpt hadiah. Bestnya. Tpi ble dh besar, aku nie rupa2nya xreti ajar orng. Xde kesbran yg tinggi. Krng bdk tu xphm, aku bwat derk je. And aku nie mmg ske bwat formula sendiri mcm farah n mai slalu ckp. Hehe..

Time aku kecil2 dulu. aku ingt nk jdi doktor. Ble save orng nyer life. Byk pahala tu. Tpi ble dh besar, aku baru realize yg aku nie takut darah and bnde2 dlm bnda kita nie. Tgk orng accident smpai luka teruk pun, aku dh mcm rse laen je. Aku xmuntah, cme rse xselesa kt dlm perut nie. Abah kata nk muntah tu tpi bdan awk kebal sbb tu xmuntah2. Ok, finelah.

Time aku kecil2 dulu, aku ingat nk jdi penyanyi. Hey, best tu. Masyuk gak kot. Famous lak tu. Sape xnk kn? Tpi ble dh besar, suara aku nie rupa2 nya xsedap. Aduh! Nie smue sbb gi karaoke lah. Kalo x, mesti xtau kn?? Hehe..  Tpi walaupun suara xsedap, karaoke ttap pegi.

Time aku kecil2 dulu, aku ingat nk jdi editor mag. Nie smue sbb aku ske beli 17mag. Ske tgk gmbr die yg comel2 n colourful tu. Tpi ble dh besar, aku dh lpe psl bnde nie. Tpi aku stil beli kot 17mag tu. Enthlh. Mcm mne tah ley lpe.

Time aku kecil2 dulu, aku ingat nk jdi penulis novel. Dulu aku suke bce buku2 cerita nie. Smpai sekrang pun. Tpi ble dh besar, die nie pun xmsuk dlm list aku. Xtau lah npe. Maybe coz aku nie xlah pndai cerita sgt kn. Cbe tgk karangan aku. Enth ape aku merepek pun xtau.

Time aku kecil2 dulu, aku ingat nk jdi pelukis. Yelh, dulu kn kte lukis smue comel2. Tpi ble dh besar, aku bru sedar yg tngan aku nie mcm kayu. Tgk lukisan aku pun mcm bdk drjh which mmg comel tpi ble jual ley ke dpt untung? Len lah tngan mcm megat tu. Ish, nk tukar tngan ngan die lah.. haha..

Time aku kecil2 dulu, aku ingt nk jdi successful businesswomen. Nie smue gara2 infuence dgn aisyah. Die mmg dri dulu nk jdi business women smpai lah sekrng. Tpi ble aku dh besar, it was still a dream but hardly to come tru coz both of my parents xencourage aku. Hmm..

Ble dh penat sgt fikir, aku ingt nk jdi suri rumah jelh. Xdelah byk sgt nk fikir. Just kne fikir ape yg nk masak jelh. Tpi yg len tu, rsenya ok kot. Beside, everything is under my control.. Huahua (evil laugh). Tpi Pn. Norliah ckp, kte as a women nie kne gak keje. Nnti ble husband kte run away or pass away, at least kte independence sket. My mom pun ckp mcm tu. Which i think was true!

Emm.. enthlah. Maybe aku ley jdi dentist kot which my parents mmg encourage i pursuit it. Lgi pun dentist xinvole byk drah tpi gross thing maybe. But i think i could handle it. Jdi composer pun okey gak kn. Mcm nadia ckp. Dpt byk dulit gak. Hehe.. But somehow business is always my top priority eventhough my parents xencourage i ambil. Xpe business, ble my future husband sruh i stop keje, i might akn ambik you. Nnti i pujuk lh die ye.. (aish! dh start bearangan blik..).. ;))

Hello 2011..

Hello 2011 and gudbye to you 2010..

Ok2.. Aku nk mle kn a very fresh start this 2011. (seriously! ok!).. Maklumlh, thun nie kn aku akn berperang.. Huh? Berperang? Jgn slh faham.. Berperang dgn dugaan tv dan keseronokan melepak.. tu je. Yelh, thun nie aku SPM kot.. Huishh! Tulis ayat tu je dh rse lemah semangat dh. Ya Allah, mampu ke aku menhadapinya dengan baik?? Huhu.. Insyallah..a AKU PASTI BLEY! Everygreen, kte mesti yakin n postif! Yep!

Anyway, since ni dah msuk 2011, ade byk perubahan aku nk lakukan pada tahun nie.. Maksud aku goal yg nk aku achieve tok thun nie lh.. Antaranya ialah........

1) Study hard. Study smart. 9A'S dlm tngan tok SPM!
2) Solat 5waktu cukup, bykkan doa, bykkan nace Al-Quran.
3) Kurangkan bergossip and merapu and buat jahat (insaflh wahai evergreen.. hehe..)
4) Be more mature and confident and positive.
5) Berpegang pada 'PERATURAN 18' iaitu single 'till 18, double after 18..
6) Ingt nk simpan rmbut pnjang tok thun nie. Malkumlh slalunya ble pnjang je mesti nk potong. So, thun nie kte biarkn die pnjang tpi xmcm Cik Rapunzal lh ye..
7) Ambik diet yg btul, seimbangkn BMI n exercise once a week! (mesti!)
8) Pling penting, LOVE URSELF!!! ;))


Ha, buat masa nie tu sajalh matlamat aku tok thun nie. Harap2 terlaksanalh smuenya ya. Jgn jadi mcm thun lepas. Rasa2nya mcm xde yg t'capai je thun lpas. *aduh! sedih sungguh!


Oklh, gtg now. Dh ngatok thap cipan dan nie. Hehe.. Btw, tdi tgk fireworks kt I-City was super awesome! The best thing i've seen so far lpas beberape thun usha firework kt KLCC je. Sememangnya laen dri yg.. laen.. So, hrp2 2012 nti, I-City bwat yg lbih gempak lgi ye n aku hrp2 dpt kesempatan tok melihatnya lgi ye.. Insyaalah.. Segalanya mungkin...

Change...

Aku dah bwt keputusan. Aku nk berubah. Berubah dari segalanya. Aku nk jdi diri yang baru. Yang xkn cepat putus asa, yg strong, yang berani to say no. Aku dh penat nanges brp bulan yang lalu. Terutama lpas Ashraf tingalkn aku. Aku xprnh nanges seteruk mcm nie utk seorng lelaki. Ble pikir blik, agak sengal lh coz nanges psl lelaki. Tpi nk bwat mcm mne, aku sgt syg kt die tpi mungkin dh xde jodoh nk bwat mcm mne kn?? Tpi aku ttp berharap smpai lh aku xprnh perasan yg selama nie die cume gne kn aku je. Lpas kteorng break thun lpas, aku dh xcontact die lgi. Skit sgt ati ble dpt tau yg die couple ngan pompuan laen lpas bape ari kteorng break. Em, xtau lh kalo mase die dgn aku, die dh pn curang.. Enthlh. Lpas bape bulan, aku cbe msg die. Aku ingt die xkn lyn tpi die makin lyn lak. Aku pn lyn jelh. Yelh, mne tau ade 2nd chance kot.. Tpi xprnh ade pn sebrnrnya. Nmpk je mcm ade psl die kata die rindu aku, ajak aku date, pnggil aku syg. Tpi sebrnrnya xpn. Setiap kali die ckp bnde 2, aku slalu pikir psl pluang. Dan setiap kali die ckp mcm 2, die pegi tnggalkn aku untuk bape minggu or bulan or ari. Pas2 dtg blik. Rpe2nya die tinggalkn aku ble die ade awek bru, dn dtg blik pda aku ble awek die dh blah. Aku rase aku lh makluk pling sengal + naif psl buta dgn bnde 2. Sebab 2 arinie aku dh bwat keputusan nk brubah. Ashraf pn dh tinggalkan aku lgi sekali psl reason yg sme. Dan die mmg dh lpe kn aku smpai ari yg ptut kte kluar 2 pn, die ley lpe. Aku benci gle orng mcm 2 n xsangka slah satu dri orng 2 adalah die..

Dhlh.. aku nk brubah! Sbb 2 aku bwat blog bru. Blog lme biar jelh jdi memory yg akan ku ingt ble aku ready. Sekrng nie all i need to think is now n the future...

Change :

1) Never stand up for cheater and a friend who never care about us

2) Aku nk tumpu pada plajaran je dan matlamat dlm idup

3) Aku xnk nanges lgi coz nnti jdi orng yg lemah

4) Aku cme perlukn kluarga dn kwn2 je dlm idup aku. Xperlu orng ketiga

5) Aku nk kunci ati aku nie smpai umur aku 18 thun

6) Live a life like a rockstar!

7) Aku nk senyum dan gembira supaya xde sape tau ape yg ati aku sebrnrnya rase

8) Aku nk lpekn Ash dan mle kn idup baru tnpa die

9) Aku nk bwat family n kwn2 aku gembira wlaupn aku sedih

10) Aku akan cbe capai matlamat aku....

So, mle arini, segalanya akn berubah...

This is real this is me...

Ceh, mcm lgu Demi Lavato lak..

hehe...

I'm on may to change today..
And tomorrow i will never be the same like
yesterday..
Future.... haha.. i still can't figure it out somehow...
Mayle later.. soon...