Its the end of the year. Again. Its weird how fast everything goes and now we came to the end and near to the beginning of the year. Again. Lols. Like any other year, i mesti ada bwat like farewell-kinda-post so same goes to this one.
I tak sure i reach the goal i made for 2016 because i didnt really have one. I made it along the year and cancel it if it doesnt feel right. So sebab tu i kinda lupa goal apa i bwat. Hahaha.. Or maybe i eat or drink yg ada byk semut. Hmm.. maybe.. So as you know, i dh graduate. Alhamdulilah. And alhamdulilah i didnt gave up and i tried my hardest to finish my studies. And insyallah kalo ada rezeki i akan smbung master next year in tak tau lah bidang mana sebab i apply marine science in ukm and business admin in uitm. So kita lihat lah rezeki i ni jatuh kt mana. And ingt tak post i about being happy, losing myself, finding myself blah blah blah... Ingt takkk??? Well, i rasa dh nk akhir akhir tahun ni baru i rasa like i really really be happy instead of faking it like most of the time. About old me.. nahh.. she's gone... and there is nothing i could do.. but im happy with myself and embrace it somehow. Im just happy.. Hahahaha.. Even tgh typing for this post ni pun i rasa mcm nk keep on tulis perkataan happy tu je.. maybe sebab lagu chainsmoker ni kot... Lols... Beside lagu yg happy kn like boost our mood kan kan kan???...
And since it is the last of the year, i decided to clear something that makes me unhappy or whatsoever.. First on the list is facebook. Gosh, i hate facebook. I really really hate it. Like i think since last year i rasa nk delete je account i tu tpi since my classmates semua keep on posting past year paper and it was easy to communicate with any group assignment, so i think takpelah stay dlu. Selesai everything baru delete. And now it really is the time. I pun bukan on selalu pun. Like bile orng sruh on baru i on or kalo tak pun sebulan sekali kot. Lols. I tau facebook ni lah kita nk connecting with people and tau hal semasa blah blah blah shit... Please lah... I boleh tau dri twitter gak ok and much faster. And about people. Well, mostly kwn yg i kenal ada insta and twitter. I think i can catch up with them through these two. Beside i rasa mcm tak selamat dgn facebook mungkin sbb i rasa terlalu 'open', terlalu public and terlalu byk sgt related. Kang i tulis something kang ada yg terasa lah apa lah. Pastu tak like ke apa ke nk sentap lah apalah. I bosan ok. I takde masa nk layan perangai sorng2 mcm ni. Kalo i nk unfriend or tak approve friend request kang ada yg buat muka lak. Ughh.. Strees tau. So better i delete. At least semua orng equal di layan nyerr... Ye dakkk???
Secondly, to be really honest with you guys.. i kinda glad that i remove some people in my life. Ok takde lah remove sgt. More to i avoid jumpa dgn dorng kalo boleh. Kalo terjumpa, i just fake face jelah. Tapi kan lately tak ley sgt nk fake face. Ia tak menjadi. Sekrng ni mulut i akan terlepas je cakap things yg involve sarcastic to people yg i dislike. I tau it is a very bad habit. But it is a habit and i cant help it. And also, maybe since i built my wall so high, i rasa sgt ssh nk trust people. Like really really susah. I didnt trust people easily. Even those yg dlu i percaya pun sbb dh tak bape rapat, i terus hilang kepercayaan sikit. Oppssyy.. Dont get me wrong, maybe if you give me time, maybe just maybe, the trust can be built? Maybe... Tapi jgn lah marah. Im like totally a different person now. So please excuse me.
Lastly, i nk clear you guys psl joe and i. As you know last year i confess feeling i kt joe and it was not sebab tak tahan ke apa tpi mcm mungkin jugak kot. Hahaha... Main reason dia is i just nk dia tau je, i just nk luahkan so that i takkan regret sbb at least i dh luahkan. Dia suka or tak suka i tu belakang kira. I was on the edge to move on. I dh ckp clearly and firm dia tak perlu balas tpi dia gedik nk gak balas. And sbb i dh set mind dia akan ignore i or dia anggap i kwn blah blah blah, so bila dia ckp dia pun ske i, i numb. I tak tau nk rasa apa, n beri reaksi apa. FYI, kteorng tak relay. He is not my boyfriend and i wasnt his. But we were good. Tpi lepas lelama i realize we were different people now and we want different things. Wlau mcm mne i nak save friendship kteorng i just tak boleh. Some things cant be fixed. I lose myself in the process of chasing him. And i keep destroying myself by giving him chances and whatsoever. He was long gone and i just force something that really wasnt meant to be. I mean, i patut lepaskn je dia dlu. I patut biarkan je dia pergi masa dia menghilang dulu. Bodoh betul i ni. I terlalu sayangkn friendship kteorng and sbb tu i hold on, But whatever. I rasa kalo i boleh putarkn masa, i akan buat bnde yg sama gak. Sbb bnde yg sama tulah menjadikan i yg ini. Mungkin i lembap nk perasan all these red flags but i finally did. And those day i thought i never get through, i got over him.
Ok dah dah.. ni mcm sesi heart-to-heart pulak. Anyway, 2016 has been bittersweet memories but somehow close to my heart. Its the year di mana i rasa almost nk give up, takut tak siap tesis, tak graduate. But then i did. I jumpa lots of people this year thanks for my internship. And spending time with my close friendship. Gi stadium larkin tgk jdt lawan, usha2 azrif. Hahaha.. Thanks for my parents yg merealisasikan my bucket list. Cewah. Lari ke penang nk tenang kn fikiran kononnya but at the same time spent time and bwat sesi heart-to-heart ngan fiqah. But the truth is, home is where the heart is. Sbb mcm i dgn fiqah agree, dudk rumah ni kita munasabah diri and thats what i did. This 2016 also was the year i realize i deserve better and amazing thanks to this person who someone change my perspective view. And before this joe help i move on from ashraf and eventhough this particular person siap offer nk pick up the pieces (cewah!), i just need to move on by my own.
I sayang friendship i dgn joe but at the same time, i want to be happy and this friendship doesnt make me happy anymore. This is like one side friendship cause he never care, he never there. And i slowly learn to walk away from things that make me unhappy.
So for 2017... tak mengharapkan pape sbb harapan tu mengecewakan. Hahahaha... Just that semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan dan semoga i lebih mendekatkan diri dgn Allah. Semoga i dpt smbung master or dpt keje yg lumayan. Hahaha.. Insyallah. Semoga segalanya baik baik sahaja. And that i really really be happy and just enjoy this life to the fullest. Beside nothing last forever. :)
So, farewell 2016 and hello 2017. May this 2017 bring us happiness and good things along the year. Insyallah.
I tak sure i reach the goal i made for 2016 because i didnt really have one. I made it along the year and cancel it if it doesnt feel right. So sebab tu i kinda lupa goal apa i bwat. Hahaha.. Or maybe i eat or drink yg ada byk semut. Hmm.. maybe.. So as you know, i dh graduate. Alhamdulilah. And alhamdulilah i didnt gave up and i tried my hardest to finish my studies. And insyallah kalo ada rezeki i akan smbung master next year in tak tau lah bidang mana sebab i apply marine science in ukm and business admin in uitm. So kita lihat lah rezeki i ni jatuh kt mana. And ingt tak post i about being happy, losing myself, finding myself blah blah blah... Ingt takkk??? Well, i rasa dh nk akhir akhir tahun ni baru i rasa like i really really be happy instead of faking it like most of the time. About old me.. nahh.. she's gone... and there is nothing i could do.. but im happy with myself and embrace it somehow. Im just happy.. Hahahaha.. Even tgh typing for this post ni pun i rasa mcm nk keep on tulis perkataan happy tu je.. maybe sebab lagu chainsmoker ni kot... Lols... Beside lagu yg happy kn like boost our mood kan kan kan???...
And since it is the last of the year, i decided to clear something that makes me unhappy or whatsoever.. First on the list is facebook. Gosh, i hate facebook. I really really hate it. Like i think since last year i rasa nk delete je account i tu tpi since my classmates semua keep on posting past year paper and it was easy to communicate with any group assignment, so i think takpelah stay dlu. Selesai everything baru delete. And now it really is the time. I pun bukan on selalu pun. Like bile orng sruh on baru i on or kalo tak pun sebulan sekali kot. Lols. I tau facebook ni lah kita nk connecting with people and tau hal semasa blah blah blah shit... Please lah... I boleh tau dri twitter gak ok and much faster. And about people. Well, mostly kwn yg i kenal ada insta and twitter. I think i can catch up with them through these two. Beside i rasa mcm tak selamat dgn facebook mungkin sbb i rasa terlalu 'open', terlalu public and terlalu byk sgt related. Kang i tulis something kang ada yg terasa lah apa lah. Pastu tak like ke apa ke nk sentap lah apalah. I bosan ok. I takde masa nk layan perangai sorng2 mcm ni. Kalo i nk unfriend or tak approve friend request kang ada yg buat muka lak. Ughh.. Strees tau. So better i delete. At least semua orng equal di layan nyerr... Ye dakkk???
Secondly, to be really honest with you guys.. i kinda glad that i remove some people in my life. Ok takde lah remove sgt. More to i avoid jumpa dgn dorng kalo boleh. Kalo terjumpa, i just fake face jelah. Tapi kan lately tak ley sgt nk fake face. Ia tak menjadi. Sekrng ni mulut i akan terlepas je cakap things yg involve sarcastic to people yg i dislike. I tau it is a very bad habit. But it is a habit and i cant help it. And also, maybe since i built my wall so high, i rasa sgt ssh nk trust people. Like really really susah. I didnt trust people easily. Even those yg dlu i percaya pun sbb dh tak bape rapat, i terus hilang kepercayaan sikit. Oppssyy.. Dont get me wrong, maybe if you give me time, maybe just maybe, the trust can be built? Maybe... Tapi jgn lah marah. Im like totally a different person now. So please excuse me.
Lastly, i nk clear you guys psl joe and i. As you know last year i confess feeling i kt joe and it was not sebab tak tahan ke apa tpi mcm mungkin jugak kot. Hahaha... Main reason dia is i just nk dia tau je, i just nk luahkan so that i takkan regret sbb at least i dh luahkan. Dia suka or tak suka i tu belakang kira. I was on the edge to move on. I dh ckp clearly and firm dia tak perlu balas tpi dia gedik nk gak balas. And sbb i dh set mind dia akan ignore i or dia anggap i kwn blah blah blah, so bila dia ckp dia pun ske i, i numb. I tak tau nk rasa apa, n beri reaksi apa. FYI, kteorng tak relay. He is not my boyfriend and i wasnt his. But we were good. Tpi lepas lelama i realize we were different people now and we want different things. Wlau mcm mne i nak save friendship kteorng i just tak boleh. Some things cant be fixed. I lose myself in the process of chasing him. And i keep destroying myself by giving him chances and whatsoever. He was long gone and i just force something that really wasnt meant to be. I mean, i patut lepaskn je dia dlu. I patut biarkan je dia pergi masa dia menghilang dulu. Bodoh betul i ni. I terlalu sayangkn friendship kteorng and sbb tu i hold on, But whatever. I rasa kalo i boleh putarkn masa, i akan buat bnde yg sama gak. Sbb bnde yg sama tulah menjadikan i yg ini. Mungkin i lembap nk perasan all these red flags but i finally did. And those day i thought i never get through, i got over him.
Ok dah dah.. ni mcm sesi heart-to-heart pulak. Anyway, 2016 has been bittersweet memories but somehow close to my heart. Its the year di mana i rasa almost nk give up, takut tak siap tesis, tak graduate. But then i did. I jumpa lots of people this year thanks for my internship. And spending time with my close friendship. Gi stadium larkin tgk jdt lawan, usha2 azrif. Hahaha.. Thanks for my parents yg merealisasikan my bucket list. Cewah. Lari ke penang nk tenang kn fikiran kononnya but at the same time spent time and bwat sesi heart-to-heart ngan fiqah. But the truth is, home is where the heart is. Sbb mcm i dgn fiqah agree, dudk rumah ni kita munasabah diri and thats what i did. This 2016 also was the year i realize i deserve better and amazing thanks to this person who someone change my perspective view. And before this joe help i move on from ashraf and eventhough this particular person siap offer nk pick up the pieces (cewah!), i just need to move on by my own.
I sayang friendship i dgn joe but at the same time, i want to be happy and this friendship doesnt make me happy anymore. This is like one side friendship cause he never care, he never there. And i slowly learn to walk away from things that make me unhappy.
So for 2017... tak mengharapkan pape sbb harapan tu mengecewakan. Hahahaha... Just that semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan dan semoga i lebih mendekatkan diri dgn Allah. Semoga i dpt smbung master or dpt keje yg lumayan. Hahaha.. Insyallah. Semoga segalanya baik baik sahaja. And that i really really be happy and just enjoy this life to the fullest. Beside nothing last forever. :)
So, farewell 2016 and hello 2017. May this 2017 bring us happiness and good things along the year. Insyallah.
No comments:
Post a Comment