Menghilangkan diri jappp

I think it was a habit for people to run away everytime a problem strike their lives. Just like those typical malay drama on tv tuuu... And somehow i was one of this "trend". Lols. Tapi bukan nk larikan diri dari masalah semata mcm orng tak nak hadap langsung masalah tu. It was more like take a break. Take alone time to clear our mind, to think straight and to see things clearly. Yelah takkan nk buat keputusan terburu buru or do something without thinking kan? All we need were some time and i know time is a bitch. Time envy us but somehow we just need to find a time to see clearly view.

I ngaku i took opportunity bila fon i rosak untuk menghilangkan diri. So basically fon i terus mati. Tak ley on langsung so contact semua puff hilang mcm tu je. Bila i gne fon backup ni, mcm orng baru first time dpt fon lah. Ha gituu... Nasib baik lah whatsapp ada backup so most of the number boleh ambik dari situ jelah. Yg group2  ni lah penyelamat diaaa... Tapi i, i just ambik a few number je kt whatsapp. Then i uninstall balik. Sebaik lah fiqah jenis memahami. Dia ckp tak install pun takpe. So i install telegram jelah since my parents mmg contact gne apps tuu.. Tapi kekdg adalah gedik nk install balik whatsapp, nk tgk kot kot orng tu contact i. But then takde pun. Takdelah berharap sgt tapi adalah sikit. And takdelah letak harapan tinggi sebab harapan itu mengecewakan. So biasa biasa je. But then whatsapp just letak latest backup so if new msg masuk and that time i offline, msg tu tak masuk lah except group lah kot. Tapi tak kisah lah.. I chill jee.. Tapi sekrng dh fully available lah. Tak meghilang dh.

Actually bagus gak menghilang ni. Bukan nk tau sape yg kisah, sape yg cari kita. Just need some time alone. Tu je. Nak ruang untuk berfikir dan munasabah diri. Cewah. Honestly, i really really happy now. It was not just a word. Be happy blah blah blah. Now im truly am. Before this i pernah mention psl i realize i deserve better lah apa lah blah blah blah lah. Tapi pastu i tenggelam balik. But now i dont think i am. Now i did realize yg i mmg deserve better and i deserve to be happy. And all these time i am forcing things to happen instead of let it happen naturally. Wlaupun tak nmpk mcm i forcing but i did. Tapi actually dari dulu lagi i nk move. Reason i confess dulu pun mmg untuk i move on. Tapi bila dia bagi respond mcm tu nk nk lak cara layanan tu a bit lain, of course lah i pun mcm ada letak harapan and fantasize sikit. Who doesnt right? Tapi lepas lelama tu i realize maybe i did force dia. But i did destroy myself while chasing him. I pendam segala terasa hati selama ni cuma bila yg last tu lah yg break point dia.

Tapi takpelah. It was all over now. And i already got my closure. Kteorng pun tak declare so tak sesuai lah kan nk cakap break up. Tapi dh tak ley lah gne istilah kawan terlebih mesra or best guyfriend or kawan special. We just friend. Tu je. And i wont ask him to do anything anymore. And i wont be there when he need me anymore. Slowly i betul betul akan menghilang terus dari hidup dia instead of kejappp... 

Move on tu susah. I've been there a lot. Paling teruk ngan ashraf lah dulu. Tapi time tu joe dh dtg dlam hidup. Now joe lak... well, there is someone yg kononnya nk tolong pick up the pieces. Cewah. But nahh.. This time i need to face it alone,. I need to do on my own. I tak nak depend on people lagi. It takes time to feel better, to be happy again. But we you finally move on and realize whats best for you, nothing will come on your way anymore and you will be happy surely.. Hahaha... It just a phase to move on. Tu jee..

So for those who in heartbreak or tak sure nk let go ke tak. Take your time. Be it be alone or whatever. Just take your time and think these through. Do a pros cons list if you had to. And always follow your heart but take the brain with you will yaa?? Hahaha.. But be happpy guyss.. Be really really happy and love yourself before you love others.