I guess being a person who was over thinking and bitter and cold makes me think that happy ending just aint for me. That love just a myth and that it happen in fairy tales or to someone who was not me obviously. I tak tau nape but the idea of happily ever after just didnt work for me. I kinda not believe in happiness or even love sometime. I tau i bukannya dtg dari broken family ke apa or even have a massive heartbreak that turn me into this kind of monster. But i think it just the way i think. I know its weird. I mean i am happy. But do i really happy inside? I cant tell.
Being an over thinking has its own perks. Like you prepare yourself in whatever outcome. Mcm i, i always prepare or assume for the worst. I tak pernah prepare for the good things actually. Like good things bnde yg terakhir akan cross on my mind or never. Sbb tu kalo it was a good thing happen, i panic sbb i tak tau mcm mne nk react. I didnt prepare for this and i didnt expect this to happen. I mean i tau kita patut prepare the good and bad things. But in my case preparing myself for the bad things make me less disappointing.
But being like too over thinking buat you fikir yg bukan bukan. Like u make some scene in your head. Pastu u tak tau the other stroy from the other side tapi u just assume and u somehow make a scene in your head. I know. Sbb i rasa mcm byk kali gaklah i bwat mcm tu. Its a bad habit, i know. But it is my kind of habit. So i wont change it.
Tapi sometime i rasa mcm my over thinking makes me push people away. Like well mcm i ckp tadi, i overthink, making some scene in my head pastu i just leave. Like what i do now with angah. She used to be my person. I used to tell her everything from friends to enemy and from boys to heartbreak. But now i cant even tell her about joe and i. Padahal she deserve to know and she will be so damn happy kalo dia dpt tau bnde alah ni sbb she always wanted we both be together. Since dia tau i ada feeling kt joe. She always like supporting and saying and hoping kteorng end up together. Well, sekrng ni takleh lah nk ckp kteorng end up together sbb we not couple or relay. We just friends with benefit? or more than friends but not lovers? Maybe sbb susah nk ckp or explain makes me feel like this thing should wait and untold. Tapi this kind of secrecy yg buat i mcm push dia away. Entahlah i sendiri tak paham diri i. Maybe it just me.
But being like too over thinking buat you fikir yg bukan bukan. Like u make some scene in your head. Pastu u tak tau the other stroy from the other side tapi u just assume and u somehow make a scene in your head. I know. Sbb i rasa mcm byk kali gaklah i bwat mcm tu. Its a bad habit, i know. But it is my kind of habit. So i wont change it.
Tapi sometime i rasa mcm my over thinking makes me push people away. Like well mcm i ckp tadi, i overthink, making some scene in my head pastu i just leave. Like what i do now with angah. She used to be my person. I used to tell her everything from friends to enemy and from boys to heartbreak. But now i cant even tell her about joe and i. Padahal she deserve to know and she will be so damn happy kalo dia dpt tau bnde alah ni sbb she always wanted we both be together. Since dia tau i ada feeling kt joe. She always like supporting and saying and hoping kteorng end up together. Well, sekrng ni takleh lah nk ckp kteorng end up together sbb we not couple or relay. We just friends with benefit? or more than friends but not lovers? Maybe sbb susah nk ckp or explain makes me feel like this thing should wait and untold. Tapi this kind of secrecy yg buat i mcm push dia away. Entahlah i sendiri tak paham diri i. Maybe it just me.
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