Literally freaking out!

Last year i think. When things got messed up. And i was frustrated with joe. I try to find a rebound relationship just to forget about joe and this heartache. And i end up meeting someone. We talked and chat. And now that everything was ok with joe. I mean our friendship is ok now. I still contact with that person. Just not that often. Not that we often talk to before this anyway. But lately he kinda being weird. He started to say about my liking and compliment me, asking a so weird question. I really feel like want to block him and stop talking to him. But easier say than done. And ssh actually ada hati yg baik n kesian nie. Because i end up didnt. I teruskan melyn dia until suddenly today, he just ask me to marry him. Not directly but it leads that way somehow. I ask him if he was serious, and he said yeah. He started to question about duit hantaran i. And since he older a year than me, we look good together... I mean what the fuck? Like seriously what the fuck? What the fuck man? You cant just go around and ask me this kind of question. Its too much.It was so straight forward. And beside we barely knew each other and its not like we talked everyday. This was all wrong for me. ll wrong for me.

I still hope that he was just kidding around to mess with me and my head.  Please do not ask me who it was and whatever. It wasnt joe. Not that i hope it was. But yeah, it freak me out a lot. I mean, i wish to get married someday. Or not. But whatever it is, it wasnt now or next 5 years. I know i like to daydream about my wedding day and whatever. But getting ask by that, I was pretty shocked. And even if it was joe who asked it (not that he ask), i still gonna freak out and shocked. Sape je xterkejut kay ble tetbe ada someone tnye soalan pelik2 mcm tu. Unless of course korng dh bercinta bertahun2 bagai nk rak. My case was different kay. We barely knew each other. I dont know anything about him and so does he. We never had that kind of talk about like and dislike. The normal one. Sbb i mmg intend to forget about joe. Not getting all serious and all. Selama ni pun i layan endah x endah pun.

Maigod! What did you get urself in nasuha?? This thing eat you up alive. Serious rasa mcm nk bang kepala kt dinding je kot. I dont mind if you nk berangan getting marry someday or whatever. But this was too much. And i was pretty much gonna put it aside. Jauh dri otak i nie. I got lot of things to think of instead of this anyway. Maybe this is my punishment for having a very bad intention. Why cant i had an ice cold heartless heart. I wouldnt be involve with this if i had one. Really. I mean it.

P/S: Sorry for the F word. I was really mad. Just ignore it coz im not gonna delete it.