Care less

Tetbe I rasa inspired ble dgr lagu brave by sara bareilles. Well lagu dia.. obviously it was being brave.. but in my case.. it was brave to stop care too much. I rasa mcm I slalu fkir ape orng ckp, apa orng fkir.. and sometime apa dorng buat kt I really buat I down. I rasa mcm I nie useless and worthless gle. But actually dorng yg useless.. sbb tu this time around I just stop care whatever they say or think. I just go with my guts.

and since I dh tau perangai orng2 tu mcm mana, I just buat don't know je. wear my fake mask, fake smile.. yeah I was fake. tpi ada aku kisah.. well,, ada certain people tu I ley lah fake2, but there are some yg I just kene tunjuk how dislike I am with them. yg fake2 tu sbb I rasa maybe they had reason why they be like that. I mean pain did change people you know. and sape tau nnti dorng ubah gak kan.. I give people chance.. but I just don't care anymore..

same goes to my feeling. to be honest, I xtau ape yg I rasa dh lately. sbb I asyik deny and deny.. I mcm berperang ngan diri I sendiri. last2, I just don't know. I xtau I should hold on or not. sbb kdg2 I rasa mcm I hold on something unsure about. I tau u ego, u xnk ngaku.. tpi I pun ada ego gak.. im tired. sbb tu kadang2 I rasa mcm nk let go. but seeing what it did to me the other day. I just go with the flow. kalo tetbe one day I move on and lpe u, then that was the sign. but if the other way around, I pun xtau nk ckp ape. but I know if there ever come a day when I move on, I know that I will be okay. and this time around, I am not faking it..

I just don't don't care anymore. yeah, maybe I am heartless after all mcm dorng ckp. and since I rasa mcm I dh sebut byk kali heartless, maybe I am btul2 heartless.. i just penat kot.. i still care to those who i love and i will be there for those who need. cme.. there are certain things yg i just nk buang jauh2. i just don't care. mcm feeling. yeah, mostly about feeling.. but who know one day, came a person who will change my mind, who change me, who complete me.. i xckp sape.. i ckp person.. there will be.. i just xtau sape, mcm mana i jumpa dia.. but i know i will meet him.. but right now, i just don't care. i want to care less, expect less.. that's all..

Tpi kn i did do the bravest things.. well, for me lah.. it was brave.. i confess someone that i like him. and even dia xckp pape. it was great to let it all out. and eventhough everything change. but i think it was worth trying. dh lama2 tu i fkir, it wasn't that bad and i am not regret it. not a bit. i believe that people change. i pun change. feeling i pun change. and wlaupun kteorng dh jarang borak. but i know we still friends. we just caught up on our life. mcm i dgn the girls gak. it just a misunderstanding. i nie kan kdg2 drama queen, overthingking freak. haha.. trust me.  xoxo..