People come and people go. It was hard to tell who would really stay nowadays. I always thought people who had been with me long enough, knows me well would definitely stay. But it was wrong.
You see, a few years ago, i met someone who was like so not my type in any other ways. But somehow in those years we become friend. A best friend. And to be honest ive never had a friendship with a guy this long. And neither did him. But we did.
As our age grew, i realize my feeling towards him is growing too. It didnt get stronger as i can control it. But who knows he had the same feeling as i am. So, we end up having a long deeper conversation. We talked about our hopes and dreams, what we want to do in the future. Stuff like that. We not lovers but more than friend.
Not long before this post, he starting to distance himself. At first i didnt really mind when he didnt reply my text and calk. He might be busy. Its eid mubarak anyway that time. But later, i soon realize, he really is ignoring me.
Yeah, u must think, dia buat dekk je, xyahlah nk risau and sedih sgt. Nnti dia contact ah kau balik. But this is joe we are talking about. He never acted this way even if he is bad mood or having some problem. He always make a time for me. What make him change?
Am i hurting his feeling? Did i did something wrong? Was this coming so fast? Im not superwoman joe? I cant read mind. Im not like professor x.
Im giving him space. Im about to give up but everytime i told myself, lantak pilah dia. taulah dia nk mai balik nnty. My heart will find a way to show me, to convince to never give up on him. I hate this feeling. Why cant my heart just let him go.
We not lovers but more than friend. But losing a bestfriend is far more hurt than losing a bf. Bcoz bestfriend always be there whenever weneed them. Bestfriend accept who we are. Bestfriend knows us too well. But now im losing someone that i call friend.
Im crying hard the other. Its worst. And im about to think to shut down my blog and starting a diary like i use to do back then. But thinking how many tree have sacrifice if im using a diary, i change my mind. I love to write. I love to tell a story of mine. I dont really care what people say or think. This is me. And this is my blog. So lantak pilah.
I guess patah seribu all over again and repeat on my playlist. :(
I miss you joe. a lot. and you dont know how much i need you right now. and you dont even know how much you meant to me pentol. but if ever i slipped into ur mind, remember i always be here for you no matter what. and i wait for you just like i promise.