And honesty, i was a liar if i say i didnt love him or miss him. Coz if i didnt miss him or love him, there will be none entry for him right??? Tpi still adekn? Including this one.
Aku still xpham mcm mne tetbe isu ashraf nie muncul. I think it was because farah ask psl most guy yg i kenal, rapat x ngan mak dorng, i mean kinda like anak mak lah gitu. So, it give me thought, ashraf mmg rapat ngan mak die. Hairstyle die pun die ikut ckp mak die. Kalo mak die sruh potong, die potong. Kalo mak die sruh biar, biarlah. Aku ingat lagi mase aku bebel rambut die pnjang sgt (seriously kay..). Then, die marah and ckp, 'eh,biarlah. Mak i ske kay. You jgn nk mengada sruh i potong. Xde maknanya.' Hehe.. Then, aku ingt lgi mase die ckp, kalo i kahwin nagn die, i kne blajar smue lauk yg berkenaan dgn ayam ngan mak die coz die mmg ske gle makan ayam. Pantang sungguh. Kalo ley, hari2 nk ayam. And ble ada ayam, terus lupa aku. Sedih tol.I hate you ayam! Hehe.. Sbb tu ble tgk fuzz ske makan ayam, it make me thought of ashraf.
Then, farah tnya, aku dh break ngan ashraf bape kali (rsenyalah.. hehe..). And aku ckp 3kali. 1st one, aku yg mintak. Yelh. Tgklah perangai aku dlu mcm mne kn. But enth, suddenly, i just got a feeling that i couldnt live without him. Feeling tu sgt strong. A week after that, aku couple blik ngan ashraf. Alhamdulilah, he said yes. The 2nd time, of course, he ask for it. For the first time in my life, i beg him to not go. Selama nie, aku xpernah pun beg a guy not to leave me. Selalunya, aku kn, ok fine. Mcm tu jelah. But still he go. Then, the 3rd time. It was kinda complicated coz aku sendiri xtau sape yg mintak. It seems like i ask for it but he already left that time. Without words. Fhm2kn jelh ek. ;p
And suddenly, aku tercakap yg aku rindu ashraf. Ok, me and big mouth! Haha.. But seriously, i really, trully, deeply, madly, missing him so bad... Wah, ayat hiperbola abis.. Hehe.. But seriously, whenever i felt lonely or things just went wrong, i just wish you were here. And seriously i miss it when everytime i wake up and before i close my eyes, you were always there. Wishing me morning and nite2. And give me those beautiful words so i can go on with lives with no such worries. I miss that ashraf. And walaupun kte xselalu spent time together, but it somehow seems like we been together to much. Kte slalu tgk movies or drama sme2 even due2 jauh.I miss manja2 ngan you. Well, aku tahu orng akan kata minah nie mengada gle pkai helmet pun nk orng pasang kn. I mean, hello! Aku retilah. Cme helmet yg lekat mcm xlekat nie je xreti okay! Dgn my dad pun aku mcm tu kot. I remember mase keluar ngan u naek motor, i have difficult pkai helmet and you pkai kn. And you keep doing that without i ask you to do ble i nk naek motor, ngan ulah. I remember mse you jeles gle tpi you not tahap cemburu buta lah. Well, standard lah kn. I ingt lagi mase ade budak satu sklh u add i. You marah gle smpai suruh i delete die. Tpi i xpernah delete pun cause you forgot and i ignore it. And ble you nmpak i post psl random guys kt blog i, you dh mle soal i mcm polis pencen. Dulu you ske stalk blog i kot and i really dont mind. I miss that kot. I miss the old you. I just miss you..
Then mai menyelit, she told me that nadh told her (complicatednya!), 1st love is always a 1st love. How jerk you are and how mean you are to me and when everytime you keep hurting me, we always find a way to forgive and forget and somehow we still love him even if we dont want to be together no more. True much! Coz that's how i feel to ashraf. Mse mle2 i thought Ay was my 1st love but after awhile, it was ashraf. Only you..
Farah tnye aku, how much did i love ashraf? And i say.....
Well,ashraf, you might not find my blog as i already change it. The old one? Well, i think i delete it or i forgot die nyer password. Pokoknya, i forgot. But even if one day or someday, you find my blog and read this entry, i just want to let you know that i love you this much always and forever..
If i miss you and suddenly teringt kt you, it might just be full... always..
Btw, i always dedicate adele-someone like you song to you cause somehow, i will never find someone like you and that your name forever the name on my lips... Thanks for everything ashraf. I never regret meeting you and having you in my life. You a great person somehow deep down inside you, i know... ;))