Im not an expert with these kind of thing. I mean tgk lah i ni. Forever alone, single mingle, kinda messed up, screw up type of person. But i feel like i just need to justified these thing.
As you all may know that crush just stay for awhile. It come and gone. It wont stay. Kinda like a rebound thing kot. Sbb you just like to play around n have some fun or whatever. Nothing serious or committed. While love. It is opposite with everything i said about crush. It stayed. For i dont know how long. Until it faded slowly kot.
In my view. The way i see it. When i had crush on someone. I cant stop staring at them when they were around. I like to capture their attention. I may look like psycho attention seekers over-attach kind of girl. I admit my weirdness and craziness. Really.
When i like someone, i tend to get jealous pretty easily and i assume things too fast. Like i cant see they flirt with some other girls, giving attention and all. I am jealous. I want all their attention only direct to me. Psycho gle kan? Haha.. I admit sometime they give me this hati berdebar2 but it just for awhile. It appear when someone talked about them or when they are coming or when they are near. And of course, i had a little hope that they have feeling towards me. Not so much or many. Just a little. Itsy pisy.
While love. Based on my experience with ashraf n joe. I didnt get jealous so much. In fact i xpernah rasa jealous kat joe pun. Serious. Ashraf tu adalah sket tpi sbb i mmg jenis xkisah, xske konkong. I limit to only as friend. N bcoz of my non jealousy, he left me. Sbb nmpk mcm i ni xde pape perasaan kt dia, xde pape effort on this relationship. Seriously ashraf? But past is past. N for joe, i xtau npe i xpernah rasa jealous lngsung kt dia. Dlu i ingt sbb mmg i xde pape feeling kt dia sbb tu i tlong dia dpt kn gf dia yg dlu tu. N even after that n now, the jealousy just mmg xde. Kalo i nmpk dia gmbr ngan other girl ke apa, i just mcm, ok nasuha, just prepare urself. Tu je. Or dia mmg mcm i ni xde pape feeling. Like alah nnti dia dgn aku gak. Confident gle wei. Haha. N funnily with joe, it just so much different. Maybe sbb xofficial kot. Sbb tu i mcm chill je. Sgt memahami. Ada jodoh ada blah blah blah. Or maybe sbb no matter what happen, i will still love him even if he doesnt love me back.
And i walk away if he meet some girl who can treat him better than me. N mcm mne i nk lari dri dia, he will pull me back towards him. So i would run straight back to him. I really dont mind if he didnt end up with me as long as he happy with whoever and whatever. I really dont mind if he didnt love me back or even had a little feelings towards me. Mmg lah nk at least sket tpi kalo xde pun, its ok. I guess, when you love someone, you just want them to be happy eventhough its not you the reason why.
And i guess thats what love is and how it is difference with crush. Tpi ni semua just my point of view. Every individual had different view. Free to tell me. Im not really that expert either. I just said what i think or feel.
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