To be honest, its hard to fight this urge feeling to text you. Even when i say goodbye and that i wont text u anymore. I just couldnt. I wish i had someone i could really talk to or someone that prevent me from texting you. The thing is it is not that we text each other every day. no. we are not like me and ashraf. we are so much different. i dont really know what we are. i mean we are not lovers but we are more than friends. no. it wasnt friends with benefit. i dont know. there was day when i wanna talk to you so bad and we had the longest conversation. or short. i dont care. as long as i could talk to you whenever i feel want to. or you text me. i dont care. as long as i could talk to you. i miss you joe.
Maybe i took granted on you. Maybe i thought you would never leave me. like you said it once. im so dumb. ive should know better. Maybe i want more. or maybe i was hoping too much. I just hope you would tell me goodbye. that you want to end this friendship. like we once had when we had a big fight. why you left me with no notes? why you left me with nothing? ashraf was so much better than you. much nicer than you. at least he say when he wanted to leave. eventhough he gave me the stupidest excuse ever. but i forgave him. but you, you just leave. and you left me hanging with question.
I said im done. I said im through. I said goodbye hundred of time. I said this will be the last time. I said you never hear from me anymore. But i couldnt lie to myself that somehow i was hoping you will come back. that somehow things will be like i it use to.
I wish you would just say goodbye. I really do joe. I will be much more easy for me. At least..