You know there were those time when people just like judging you and bringing you down. you sit down and thought of all the things they said and somehow it really bring you down. you start to change ur mind, change yourself to be what they say, to do things you didnt even love. I have those moment.
When my relative knew about what course did i get. Well, some give a positive response. Like, yeah, marine science nanti ley jump to oil and gas or maybe end up kat petronas. So, kita mcm semangat lah kn.But of course there are the negative one. They totally bring me down and gave my mom a second doubt. Yelah mak mana je xworry ble ada orng ckp ambik course nie xde joblah, kene keje kat luar negara lah.. bullshit3.. haha.. seriously, my mom snggup kot byr msuk kn i to msu or unikl. but i xnk. i mean i love marine science. so i assure her. and everythings okay now. alhamdulilah.
And i remember masa joe sgt2 down sbb dia takut orng kecil2 kn dia. yelah dia just study kt swasta je. even degree might or might not dpt kt ipta. but i told him this, forget what they say. they got mouth so they will talk and talk. but once they tired of it, they will eventually stop. and show them mana2 blajar pun ttap sama. kalo ada kesungguhan nk menuntut ilmu, blajar ipta/ipts, you will succeed. and i hope he remember that and he will go chasing after his dream. insyallah.
I was totally feeling down the other day. i xtau napa. it was like i lost or something and i needed joe but he wont be around anymore. so im starting to miss him and having a heartbreak. but luckily for me, ashraf came and eventhought talking to him was not the same as talking to joe. but i grateful. the silly thing is i felt a low esteem. i just feel like something is wrong until the people distant themselves from me. so i started to ask weird question. haha.. but then it got to my thought that i will definitely got a different answer from different people coz i treat people differently. i miss joe. he always know what to say to make me feel better. okay enough. haha.
The thing is there is nothing wrong with me. I think so. It just that i got lot of things in mind that i started to make a scene in my head. and it is silly. im fine the way i am. if they cant cope, they are excuse to leave. i beg. haha.. so i guess maybe joe cant cope with me. and its okay and i will be okay. i will be. insyallah.
Remember that day i say i dont want to fall in love? Who am i kidding? I cant stop myself to fall in love. If i wanna fall, i will fall. But maybe this time i will stop hoping to much and put a high faith on it. I should let things happen naturally. i cant stop my imagination from running but i will try to stop put too much hope in it. coz look how broken i am when joe walk away. yeah, let me say that way. it so rhythm. haha..
So, to those who being judge, chin up, you are awesome the way you are. screw them all. they dont know you the way you know yourself. so, always believe in urself.
and to those who love to judge, here's to you, before you judge me, make sure you are perfect bitch! haha.. i just love it those world. i'll be wanting to say it! haha..
and if you are like me, having a fobia cinta moment. watching a love story movie or listen to love songs doesnt make you a soapy person. i always let my self watching a cute love story so i wouldnt stop believe in love and i believe that someday i will met my other half and i will have my own love story.
yeah, i think i will be okay.. :) be awsome!