Aku xtau nape tapi everytime aku dalam keadaan yg mcm... emotional. I always hoping that ashraf was there beside me. I wish i was his again and i wish we were back again. I know i said i moving on and that i am happy for him when he met someone new but i cant ignore a feeling that i miss him and i wish he was here with me. Ive know him almost 4years now and even if we had a fight or a very bad break-up, i will always came back into his life even as a friend. I never been away from him for along time. Aku rase pling lame pun setahun. He wasnt my friend. He wasnt my bestfriend. He was someone special. He was my first love. I may not share everything with him like i share with my girls and joe. But he knows me too well that he know when something is wrong with me. Just like when i know die merajuk or whatsoever.
There was a time that i hope the time machine was invent and i could go back to where i t all begin between us and fix the problem we had. But there also a time that i think maybe this is what it should be from the beginning, friendship and not more than that. Maybe if we never end up to be together, i think you will be my guyfriend like joe. Maybe. But even joe cant mend up my feeling of despair when life gets hard.
Ever since you and i together, im not really the kind of girl that tell her true feeling. And until now, i am still that kind a girl. I just need you to be there when my life seems like shit. I just want you to cheer me up even if you just text 'PING!'. I need you ashraf. At least for now, for the time being.
