cleaning

I was not procrastinating in writing that last piece of him. But I was finding an inspiration. They said if you love something, you need to let it go. So I was doing spring cleaning to my room. From my bookshelf to my clothes, toiletries, bag and lastly my shoes. You have no idea how many things I have already let go of. Not to mention the things that I did not use yet. I realize now that I am a hoarder and I have lots of things and I should not shop more until I use it all.

Changes are good. I could do with some changes. 

That was not the only thing I rummage into. I started to randomly read my last post. It was so funny. Like how naive I was for writing those. But it brings lots of good memories. The kind of I forget it already but when I read it, I will be like "really, is that really happening?". I kind of forget those posts I write about other boys, others than Joe. 

I was so wild and carefree back then. I am always fearless and curious. How did that change huh? 

I came across a post I wrote about my scandal. Yeah, back then when I was in UKM, they kept pairing me up with this guy who makes everybody think we are together. Little did they know, I was wishing the same thing too. We always texting and talking. We always spend time together with a study group. I remember when we both tired, so he show me a bunch of 'The Voice' videos that he save on his laptop. And I think somehow that is the reason why I started and still am watching it. Even though it doesn't really remind me of him. I just thought about it after I reread one of the posts. I believe we could be something more. But then I think you were not mine to begin with. We had a fun ride. But deep down we both know that this was supposed to be temporary and that you were never mine.

Other than that, I was caught up with the feelings I had for Joe. I know deep down somehow, he gets past that layer. But I can't let it get through it. So I make sure he ends up with his now wife. He is happy and I am happy for him. It was somehow a happy ending for both of us. 

This is the past and now it will be lost in the memory.