Still into you

Have you ever feel so sure about something. It wasnt like you had a vision or anything. It just like something u had to do. And it just feel so right. Okay2. Let me explain.

Remember when i told in previous previous post that my feeling towards joe is slowly fading. And i want to start a new life without him. So i started to stop texting him and all. Eventhough i realize i kept on dreaming or fantasize about him. I know. Weird. But last Saturday. In desperate of need to know the score of JDT. I think, a text wast going to hurt. And it doest of course. But it was more than that. 

So after i know the score. I dont know whats going on with me. I start o rambling and talk about random stuff. Mungkin sbb dh lama xborak kot. And i rasa mcm tah pape je i ni. I just wish he didnt reply. Ignore me like he always do. But of course he didnt. Slalu mcm tu. Ble kte wish to happen, it just wont happen. Tpi ble kte nk dia lyn kte, dia ignore kte lak. I just dont understand this law of universe. 

Oh, the random stuff yg i ckp tu? I ckp psl my trip ke penang again. 28/8 nnti. But this time with the girls. Finally it happen. Well, selagi xsmpai penang tu ngan dorng, selagi tu i rasa xsecure. Takut gak ada yg cancel last minute. Spoil tau x. Ok smbung balik. After i ckp psl trip i tu semua. He was like hati2 nanti gi trip. Jaga diri. I tau it just a simple advice. Tpi hati i berbunga ok. He cared for me. Aww,, so sweet. Haha.. And i mcm biasalh, berlagak tough. Ckp dont worry bagai. I tau jaga diri.

But this last part yg bwat i xtahan tu. Dia sruh ambik gmbr nnti and post kt dia. I just berseloroh. I ckplah dia rindu tgk i ke. Tah pernah2 pun mintak. *Laughing face. Mungkin dia pun berseloroh gak. Dia ckp xperlu tnye. Kalo dh mintak tu rindu ler namanya. Lgi berbunga wei hati i ni. Haha..

 

I always be a negative nancy. A party bummer. But this time around, i allow myself to feel happy. I let myself smile a lot like i was in cloud 9 or something. I let myself singing over and over again. I xnk fkir yg mungkin he be nice or he just say something he didnt meant ke apa. I xnk fkir semua tu. Bnde tu semua i fkir esok2 ble i dh tired be a person that was drunk in love. Just for that day je. Let me feel the love. Let me feel the happiness.

And of course i move on. Not literally move on. It just that im not that drunk in love again. But im still am in love. And i realize, mungkin the feeling never really gone. It might fading away but its not gone. It was there. Waiting to be blossom again. And it did its magic. 

I rasa for now. Instead of planning and figure it out. I just let it flow. Im still into joe. I know i do. I just being stubborn and foolish. But i love him. He's the only guy who make me feel happy and whatever feel i feel. And i guess for now that was enough. He doesnt know if i kept any feeling towards him and i dont need to know what he's feeling inside. Yeah, maybe we flirt now and then. Beside, kteorng dh lama kenal n are so comfortable with each other. If its meant it meant to be kan? I redha kalo dia bkn jodoh i. But for now, i nk enjoy while it last. Life is short. Why make it difficult by create a problem that wasnt there. Lets live life like we suppose to. Fall in love, be happy.