Starting everything all over again

Since im starting everything all over, i think i should make a new blog. I mean its gonna be whole new me in it. Hopefully. And to be honest, dh buat dh pun. But then this mind of mine just love to change ble masa je yg dia nak. So i guess im gonna stick with the old one. s

Anyway, this new one is inspired by Taylor's new song, Shake it off. In fact, i was listening to this song while typing. Rasanya kalo happy things, i should listen to this song masa tgh menaip nie. And to be exact, i addicted gle ngan lagu nie. I keep on repeat it smpai bosan tpi blum bosan lgi lh. Soon.

Okay. I tau i dh lama xpost apa2. Almost 2 month i menghilang i guess. Phew. But im back, didnt i?

The reason. After raya yg xbape nk raya tu. I mean i rasa mood raya i smpai raya kedua je. By raya ketiga, i rather chill in my cribs smbil lyn2 cte raya yg byk dh tlepas tu. And beside nenek i not feeling well. Tpi alhamdulilah, she's okay now. Turn out, beside the heart problem, she also under stress/ depress. Well, sape je x depress kalo wujud orng yg selfish tahap nk mampus. Sbb sadly, i pun depress. Last 2 weeks rasanya. I xde selera lngsung nk mkn. Dia bkn xde selera sbb nk diet or buat2 xde selera. Sbb i nie mmg jenis kaki makan. Tgk badan lah kn. Haha.. Kalo i buat2 xde selera, confem pastu i selongkar peti sejuk tu smpai jumpa makanan i nak. Tpi masalahnya, nie xde selera yg xmkn pun xpe. I rather spending time with my bed. Last2 rupa2nya i depress. I even distance myself from people. Kt whatsapp tu byk lh group but most of it, i silent. Tmasuk lh the girls nyer group. Sorry my penawar hati. Ble i nmpk dorng ckp2 psl nk kluar smue tu, i trus silent everything. Sbb i tau i bkn dpt gi pun. I got duty to do. Bkn nk merungut ke apa. I xkisah kene jaga nenek i. Seriously. Tpi ble wujud orng yg selfish nk mampus nie, tu yg buat i naik angin smpai mkn ati byk sgt. Tu yg depress tu. I just xphm, kalo i bley sacrife my holiday smue, npe dia xley buat bnde yg sama. Sdngkn dia tu lgi tua okay dri i. And since that attitude from his, im just like... im gonna shake it off. Lantaklh. Tpi these kind of people mmg dpt ayat mencarut dri i lh senang ckp. And my poker face or maybe my real face too. Gilh jual ikan smpai mampus.

Breath in. Breath out. Everythings going to be alright.

And yeah im starting all over again. Including this heart of mine. After awhile, after all those craziness and heartbreak, and after i gain my sanity, i realize what he say was in fact true. We were different in a lot of way that seem we get along pretty well and had lot of similarity. Sadly. Tpi i redha with everything. Maybe he wasnt my one true love but he is my soulmate. We had great conversation. I mean sape je yg i ley borak pasal samping yg i as a girl didnt wear it. Yep, we are weird like that. And i guess thats why i fall for him or the fact thats the thing i like most about him. But never mind. It is what it is kan. He just not really into me and we just not meant to be. So whatever. Im in no rush of getting married or anything in between. Beside, when the times right, and he is the one for me, i just know it. You just gotta believe those instinct and just follow your heart in everything you do.

So. Starting over. Yeah. Wish me luck. Coz i need that luck. I need it pretty bad.

Till we meet again :)