Ruang

Sometime we need some space to figure it out, to rethink. Or just some space to be alone or whatsoever. Lately ni aku byk menyendiri. Bkn sbb depress ke apa. Cuma aku perlukn ruang. But in order to be that, i push some people away from my life. I xtau lah untuk kebaikan ke x. But for now, i just feel fine. So okay lah kot. I mean dorng pun xde cari i ke apa. So i did the right thing kn. Eliminate those who not right in your life. Letting go. Kn?

I've been doing lots of thinking lately. Ingt x masa i ckp yg feeling i kt joe dh fading away tu. Well, it was kinda true. I mean i xrasa pape kot ble kteorng borak. I didnt feel the happiness nor the excitement when we talked. But somehow i still love talked about him. And i still laugh and smile when i think or talk about him to other people. I still feel that happiness. Pelik kn? Maybe he just a good memories that i hold on. Yelah, sometime i realize i talked about him as if he no longer in my life. That he just exist in my mind or in my memory. 

I kept him lock inside my heart for a very very long time. Form 4 smpai sekrng bkn masa yg sgt singkat ok. Funny, kteorng dh berkawan sejak form 1. But the feeling only come afterwards. And it was intense. Mcm yg laen ckp. Kteorng mcm maen tarik tali. Dua2 xnk ngaku. We just keep on flirt until he was almost confess. I got cold feet. Sbb tu i get back ngan ashraf. And i tau i hurt joe's feeling. But that time i just xnk lose kwn baik i je. I xregret making that mistake, running away. Maybe it just suppose to be that way. And as time goes by, i still keep that feeling with me. He doesnt ever need to know. Until of course i realize that. I gotta set him free. I gotta let him go. I gotta let him be happy with someone else eventhough that someone else wasnt me. 

Sbb tu i perlukn ruang. Rasa berat but it just something i gotta do. I should do it long time ago. Tpi tulah. Cinta itu buta. And now i got my sane back. I think i will be alright.

They ask me, what if i was wrong? What if this was a mistake? And i say, whatever meant to be, meant to be. If not, i know Allah dh set from the top whats the best for me. :) I put my trust and everything in Allah's hand. Redha with everything and believe that it happen for a reason.