Fragile

“we hide behind a fakeSMILE to mask the pain but sometimes we wish someone would look closely enough and see how broken we really are inside”

—

(via wsabe) Kadang kadang tu kita ingt kita ni kuat mcm iron man tpi hakikatnya we pretty fragile and vulnerable inside. But somehow we pretend that we were okay, that nothing was wrong. We played the happy-go-lucky-person type of role in front of people and curled up crying in darkness.  I was an over-thinking freak. I was always do. Its kind of habit or my thing actually. And these past few days had been hard. Bkn sbb assignment berlambak. Well, that was one thing. But i dont really that mind. My fault for being procrastinate. Tpi ada gak a few assignment, group assignment to be specific which kalo dlm contrast dia, do in group, teamwork or whatever. Tpi apa jadi, haram jadah semua campak aku. Mmg aku ketua tpi xley semua nk aku yg buat. Mcm tu baik buat individu je which i pretty much ok with it. Sbb yg penat aku, bukan kau wahai hamba Allah. Pastu aku ler yg nk kene fikir apa yg nk kene siap, mcm mana nk buat. Kau ingt aku xde kerja lain ha? Im so tired with these kind of people. Ya, mungkin kau nmpk aku diam, ikut je kehendak kau. But to be really honest, once i blow out, you wont see me as the same person anymore. Eh, aku malas lyg species homosapien mcm kau ni tau. And thats why all you see is me ignoring every shit of you. Penat. Im so tired with people, the kind of people like you.  Semoga kau berubah. And semoga Allah tabah and sabar kn hati aku ni. Bape minggu je lagi. Kuat lah wahai hati, And i thought of not going home for this week but seeing me so intense and all, make me change my mind. I dont want to face another episode of depression. So lbih baik aku balik rumah, surround myself with lovely and happy people dripada aku mereput dlm bilik ni, tgk dinding yg pucat sbb dia pun xsanggup tgk aku lagi. Kang lgi depress aku dduk kt sini. Home is all i needed wlaupun kalo aku dduk ukm ni pun, coursemates aku nk kluar n aku ley je ikut dorng sbb dorng mmg ajak pun. It just that, depression make you an anti-social person and lebih ske ke arah menyendiri. Sbb tu kalo dduk kt ukm ni pun, aku bkn bwatpe pun selain mengenang nasib je. Huehue. But it feel a relieve a bit ble tdi dpt luahkn perasaan kt the girls. Nadia pling memahami sbb prnh mengalami nyer. I baru seru2 nama mai tdi kt twitter sbb masa kt matriks dlu, i always with her. Any kind of problem she or me facing, a hug cure everything a bit when the the mouth just lost all the words. And to be honest, i really need a hug right now. It will be so much better and i want maicawah. Get well soon syg.. i sruh fawah jaga u baik2.. dia je yg pling dekat dgn u bwat masa nie.  And to be honest it feel nice actually to be surrounded with friends who can cheer you up and who can make you forget the chaos in your mind