Today i woke up with different perspective. Each day i pray that i will find this day. The day which i will sure which path to take. But sadly it never came. But i never lose hope. I keep on pray. And i start to feel like this is what it is. Maybe i shouldnt let it go. Maybe i should just let it flow. If it meant for me, everything will come around. For now, i like to get lost in memory land where we were once seem so happy together. For now, let me wrote words or stories of him. For now, let me be this way.
I told myself once. That if one day, there is no doubt in my heart, i will come around. Because i wish to stay, for long this time. And one day, I did. I text him just asking whether he go to stadium or now because i know how fanatic he is and beside i was here. It just something i did without thinking ( no doubt) and spontaneously. But we end up talking about lots of things. Most of it was catching up. Its been awhile anyway. But surprisingly, i didnt realize how time fly and how everything seems okay, seems like it just the way it use to be. I feel glad.
Now the part of 'different perspective'. I realize that yeah we went far. Yeah, you give me hope. And yeah i thought we will could be more than just friends. But now i realize that you were my bestfriend and you will always will be. And the reason why i couldnt stay mad at you or i couldnt live without you was because you are just like the girls. My love to you was just like how i love my girls. I would do anything for you. I really do. Just like how you call me at 3 in the morning, just to tell me how bad day u had. And how u were there for me listening to my story and watch me cry after a bad breakup. I know that eventually i will lose you to a lady who stole ur heart, the one you want to spent the rest of your life with. But for now, you are my best guyfriend and let just enjoy the moment together. Like it was suppose to be. Like it used to be.
'We were never anything but really really great friends. I would do anything for joe. He's very much a part of me in some way now. And i love him in a way no one will understand not even me i guess. But i love him so much that it hurts.'
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