It was sad you know to see a picture of someone you loved with another person now. It was sad you know how easy somebody change their mind and their heart. As if all those promises, all those sweet talk means nothing. It was all just rubbish. But to think again, it was rubbish now bcoz it means nothing when another one just forget and throw it all away. So just throw it in the trash. It just gonna shatter your heart thousand times worst if you keep holding it on.
But this is not how i feel right now. And it wasnt my story either.
Semlm ada kenduri kt kmpung tpi i xgi. My grandparents n ucu yg gi. Eventhough dorng ajak. N bkn i xnk ikut sbb i xnk sama kete ngan ucu. I tau kdg2 i sakit ati ngan dia smue. But tu smue zaman i xmatured. Now i buat dek je. Hati kering katakn.. Okay, i xnk gi sbb i malas nk buat fake face, hadap smue. Penat lh. Lgipun nenek xsihat n mommy nyer ayam masak merah sedap. Huh. Alasan. Tpi bgus gak i xgi. Alhamdulilah. Sbb tok mak ckp along bbwak 'someone'... n i do know that someone.. And bkn tok mak je yg ckp. I saw a picture. N yeah i do know that someone... very very well..
Turn out along ngan kak dewi dh over. Wlaupun i dh jangka lama dh but somehow a part of me hope yg along akan change his mind. But who am i kidding. You cant beat first love. Lgi2 kalo u xmove on btul2 pastu guna orng laen tok lpe yg lama. Nah.. it never work out anyway. Tpi still, i hope that it will work between along ngan kak dewi. Tpi nk bwat mcm mana kn. Jodoh kn n kebodohan along n ke-terdesakkan pompuan tu. Think of it again, maybe dorng mmg match in hell. Ye, ayat i mmg kejam sket.
And wlaupun smue dok puji pompuan tu ramah lh bagai lh. But you dont know the whole story. Dlu pompuan tu dump along sbb dia rasa along tu mcm xkemana, mcm xkn bjaya gitu. Materialistic nyer pompuan. N masa tu along mmg sgt down smpai dia almost fail n kene drop. Tpi sape yg ada masa dia ssh? Kteorng. Ye, me and family. Beri dia support smpai dia jumpa dewi. N everything nmpk ok. Wlaupun along kata just kwn2 dlu. But then things got serious and along ye2 ckp kt my mom yg dia mmg xnk blik kt pompuan tu wlaupun pompuan tu sibuk msg dia smue.
But one fine day. Allah nk tnjuk kot. I angkt fon dia sbb dia gi solat time tu. Bonda je yg call. Lpas borak. Tah mcm mana tbkk msg. N i pun tbaca. Okay. yg 1st je. Yg laen, i stalk. But still, i hope dorng just kwn mcm i n ashraf. But mestilh i salah. Sbb present dh laen sekrng nie kn.
Bkn melayu mudah lupa. Manusia tu sendiri yang cepat lupa daratan. Lupa dulu masa susah sapa yg tolong dia, sapa yg jadi tiang supaya dia bdiri teguh. Bila dh senang, lupa sudah smue sacrifice yg orng tu buat untuk supaya dia xkan jatuh. Lpe yg masa dia ssh, kita yg bntu dia. Bukan nk ungkit. Tpi tu kenyataan. Manusia cepat sgt berubah. And eventhough i'm human being, but i pling menyampah ngan spesies mcm nie. Lupa daratan nk mampus. Sorilh. Spesies lpe daratan, spesies jual ikan nie mmg xde maaf bagimu. Mmg kaw2 dpt fake face and my hateful face. Serious.
Tpi lantaklh. Malas nk fkir. Yg nyesal nnti bkn i. I dduk, goyang kaki n tgk je. This time around i ckp kt my mom, lantaklh dia tu. Kte wait n see je. Kalo lpas nie pompuan tu tnggalkn dia lgi, biarkn jelh dia. Nk frust menonggeng ke apa. Dh beri nasihat xnk dgr. Same goes to angah. I dh penat kot. So last2 i dgr je n tgk. Im tired with all this drama smue. Really tired.
And wlaupun along dh x ngan kak dewi. But kteorng nyer relationship ngan kak dewi remain same. Wlaupun i tau dia tgh move on smue. N how she try to avoid ble nk jumpa. But she was like my kakak angkat and anak angkat to my mom. Serious. My mom sendiri ngaku smpai kalo kluar sama2 n my mom jln ngan kak dewi. Dia ingt i jealous. Sori mommy, jelaousy not really in my dictionary. Haha.. But serius lah, kak dewi deserve someone much2 better than along .N wlaupun along tu cousin i. But i rather much backup kak dewi. Bcoz bitches stay together. Ceh.. n nie smue salah along. Sebaik dulu dila reject along. Kalo x, kesian gak kt dila n dila ntah2 xnk kwn ngan i lgi. maigod!
Actually dh lama dh kteorng figure out yg along dh x ngan kak dewi ble kak dewi tetbe menjauhkn diri and she delete all her social network. And my mom pun mcm kecik ati sbb text xreply smue. But i assure her yg she need time to be alone. I get her. Bcoz dlu pun i alami bnde sama. N honestly if i in her shoes, i will do the same. Sbb kdg2 all we need was some alone time n quiet, away with people n lagu 'patah seribu' as in background music. Or maybe i je kot yg memerlukn lgu patah seribu tu. Sbb seriously i mmg patah seribu time tu kay.
Tpi Alhamdulilah lh. Last2 kak dewi blas gak wechat my mom and we did talk on the phone tdi. Rupanya fon dia ilang. Rindu gle kot borak ngan dia. Tu yg i ask my mom ajak dia kluar. Tpi my mom ckp nntilh sbb fhm. She try to move on n keep herself busy. She not ready yet. Slow2. Lgi best borak ngan kak dewi sbb dia sempoi n talkactive. Kalo ngan pompuan tu. Maybe dia ramah tpi mcm control2 sket. Chill lah. I bkn judges nk judge dia. N i bkn ckp mcm nie sbb i menyampah gila babeng ngan dia. It just the fact. Dri mula i kenal dia dlu.
Tpi xkisahlh. This is not the 1st time. Dlu masa i xske angah n si epul tu. I ckp terang2 n i tunjuk sekali segala kebencian yg ada dlm diri ini.And what makes you think i wont do the same? Sbb i nie jenis yg kalo btul2 xske, btul2 menyampah, i tunjuk je terang2 bcoz my fake face is like so expensive bebeh. Sila hadap gua nyer hateful face. Sila sila.
Ble dh mcm nie kan.. Rasa mcm xnk dh lh cari laki dri johor.. Ceq nk cri yg utara pulak. Kedah maybe.. Hehe..
Okay2. stop.. panjang jela dh menaip nie.
Rasanya dh smpai part merapu dh nie..
Better stop ye.
Before it getting worst.
Btw, selamat hari raya aidiladha..
blum lmbt lgi kn nk wish
:)
till again..
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