And as for me.. i know i lose myself too. Im no longer the same person i used to be and i really do miss her. But somehow i am not planning to find her. Well, at least not for now.
Even roomate i pun ckp i laen. I byk menyendiri. Yelah selama nie i byk lyn movies. Now, i bkk kejap je pastu i tutup. I lay down and listen to music or read some novel. I pun xtau npe i mcm tu. And lately i rasa mcm i nk delete this blog. Sbb i rasa that girl who love to say things she felt and think are now gone. So whats the point of this blog still exist? But seeing all those post being delete was plain cruel. So i let it stay. Just maybe i am not gonna post anything for awhile. Well, maybe.
Yeah, i tau last time i rasa mcm nie masa i nk give up on joe. The thing is it might be. But somehow read those old conversation, those word he used to say make me change my mind. I want to stay and hold on. But i forgot that was the old him. So, i think maybe i should just let go. Coz somehow i really dont know what i am holding on anymore. And waiting him was like.. waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing. I do miss him but hey.. i used to miss ashraf too.. So, it just another healing those broken heart again. I will be okay.
About those care less and heartless. Who am i kidding? That just like so not me. Maybe the heartless part dh nk dekat. Sbb.. adalah.. haha.. The care less.. I just xley. Mcm farah ckp i always be there for people. But who know maybe this time i should just ignore some of it. I wont ignore you girls. You like my sister, a family. How could i do that kn? Just to some people.. I need some alone time anyway. Did you know being alone was not mean you lonely. It give u some time to spent with yourself, get to know yourself. And thats why im gonna do. For now.
And i realize that it was okay to give up and let it go. Nope. Ia xde kene mengene dgn give up things that make you happy and love. I still pegang teguh with you should do thing thats you love.
Maybe those figuring things out was not really finish yet. Maybe.
But whatever it is, i might be okay even if i am not fine at all. But i do know for now, all i need was time.
