But to sum it all.. i think 2013 had taught me that 'pain change people'. In this world we never escape from being judge. Ive been judge a lot. There was one time that they judge me so bad i feel like i wanna cry. And to make things worst, joe wasnt around when i need him. I lost all my mood and i just shut everyone out including my family. Like my parents keep on asking whats wrong but i just say nothing when everything was wrong crossing on my face. I think my dad knew but he know that i need some space. So he didnt say a thing. I did cry actually. But it was the very last one. I mean for those mean people. I mean i shouldnt cry bcoz of the shit they say bcoz they are full of shit and they are just like shit. Sorry for swearing too much. And trust me i feel lot better after that cry. I pull myself back and i told myself that i prove them that they were wrong. That i shouldnt give a damn of what they said. Thats why im start the figuring out things. And after a while i realize it was never for them. It was for me. And it feels good. It does. Im happy with myself. Im accepting the changes.
So, 2014 huh? Happy new year btw.
This year im planning to being open. Im done figuring out. I mean i think for now i accept myself. I love myself. Yeah, im not perfect. And i love my imperfection. This is me for a while. And im not changing it. Not even a bit. For now lah. Being open was meant that i open my mind and my heart and my soul eventhought this sentence seem a little bit weird. Nevermind.
Open mind is where i accept what people saying. The -ve and the +ve. And if it was -ve, just let those shit out of my mind. But if it was the +ve, lets keep them in ourself. Open mind is open minded. So, i shouldnt really judge people just bcoz they are different. Different make them unique. And who know they were good hearted eventhought their appearance was like that. I mean, i deal with this before. Look does not define personality. Or maybe someday they change. It just a matter of time.
Open heart is where i open my heart to people. Not all people okay. Certain. Hehe.. I knew the promise i make to joe blah blah blah.. i still hold on it. But if im gonna fall in love with someone along the way, so be it. This time around i wanna keep things low and au natural. I wanna things to go with the flow. Im done planning.And who would ever thought that i meet my other half if joe wasnt the one for me lah. Or i just meet someone. Who knew right.
Open soul. This one is a bit blur.. but for all i know.. i want to learn new things, make mistake and fall in love. explore the world. be good and do good deeds. do lots of crazy things. be fearless. and be myself. I had my anthem songs now.. so i will be okay :)
oh. one thing.. maybe i should stop rely on joe too much. maybe this around i should be independent coz maybe one day he wont be there. for me.