25th

This post that i wrote was sensitive and sad. I should let it go but i feel the needed to write it. It was the same thing that i use to publish in my blog but time heal so i stop wrote it. But today, i feel i have to write it. So, if you dont want to read it, stop, closed it, or return back, or scroll till it go to the post before this..

I guess 25th seems like a curse to me. Curse i thought that no longer tied to me since i move on. I know that. But today, i just  miss everything.. I guess fate lead me to this...

I open my myspace coz i need to find what muiz been sent to me a few month ago but i found something else.. The title its simple, 'hey sayang'. It caught my eyes and i open it. I read it.. I wanna cry coz it was beautiful. That moment. And i just wish i was there again when he called me sayang, when he call me honey, and when he ask me to be crazy about him and to be thinking about him.

And i cant stop. It feel addicted. It feel like drug that i no longer addict to but now im searching it. And i found it.. But this time, i feel cruel. Its all because of my mistake. If its not because of it, i might have him now. At least. To be honest, the mistake i regret so much starting from there. I wish i could turn back the time or at least warn myself on the past to not do this mistake in the future coz you regret it. So hard.

Now, im bubbling to dila.. about who i am back then. about ashraf. about those conversation. and i still cant stop it. Im addicted to it.. the conservation we use to have. those sweet name you use to call me. and i wish i didnt done what i did back then.. i m sorry for everything ashraf. if i could take it all back, i would. i really would..

i know its the past.. i know i said i move on.. but not today.. just not today..