Absent-mindedly

He's annoying, he's hilarious, he makes me yell, he drives me crazy, he's out of his mind, and he's everything I want. I didnt said who but he appears in ur mind somehow right? Whoever it might be..

And yeah, he cross in my mind in a second i read it. :)

Im not that type of girl that easily fall in love since i met ashraf. Well, a crush just a crush but to fall, thats hard. Whoever i fall hard on was really someone special. 

Im not gonna said his name. And if you guessing it right, please just keep to yourself. Thanks you. Appreciate that.

I've been crushing on this guy since 2010. It really was a crush back then but it turn to love somehow. A little by little. I could feel it deep down inside me but i keep denying coz i think its silly. Everytime we talk i felt this weird feeling inside me like my body secrete this weird hormone. I think scientist should study a bit about that. And everytime we ended conservation, i had this huge grin on my face. Yep, i saw it on the mirror. Haha..

I started to imagine things about him. I fantasizing weird things with him. Crazy huh? But hey, im a weird girl..

He gets me. I feel comfortable around him. He makes me laugh. Hard. He annoyed me with his short term memory. He drive me crazy with his stupid arguments. He make me smile with his stupid words. He my superman coz he always try be there to me when i need him. He's change. And i am afraid of losing the old him. But alhamdulilah, there still old him inside him somehow. 

I dont know why but i thought about him when im with ashraf the third time. I didnt meant to. I mean, i love ashraf. I always do. But that feeling wasnt the same anymore. Even i know that im not that happy with ashraf anyway. Not like when im with him. Im suck right? But thats what i true feel in that moment. But i try my best to pretend that im happy with ashraf and i even stood up for this relationship when ashraf gave up. I dont know why i did it but i did it. And im glad its end now..

I remember this crazy thing he told me. It was so crazy till i thing he lose his mind that time. Usually, my bf or so ex bf now will definitely going to say he would like to marry me, im his future wife, blah blah.. etc.. but he.. he only said.. he will sent his mom to book me. You know like engage or sometime. I didnt saw it coming coz i know it never be true and i will never happen. I just pretend i believe him. But now.. im hoping it will come true. But i know.. he already forget about it.. nvm..

You know, sometime i wonder.. the reason why i didnt open up my heart is not because i still love ashraf. It might be coz i know my prince this shown up just yet. It just that.. im hoping that one day, he realize that its me who meant for him. Its me who will complete his life. Its me who spent his entire life with. And its me who he have to make up his words with. 

Yeah, you guys must think, apa nasuha merepek pagi2 buta nie? Nie mesti kes xley tdo pastu merapu tah pape kat blog dia.. yeah, maybe it was true. Coz i just named it absent-mindedly. :)

Last but not least,

Hey guy, i hope ours story gonna be just like Jane Quimby and Billy Nutter one day. Insyllah. :)