Remember when people said, 'love is blind'? Somehow i agree with it. When we fell in love with someone, we would do anything for them and follow everything they ask even sometime we find it quite nonsense and childish but we keep follow it. And somehow i was one of those people.
I remember when i was with ashraf. He ask me to wearing hijjab. My parents also ask the same thing. At first i was of course ignoring it cause hey, it was myself. So, it was me who will decided it. But after awhile, i do it. I do it because of him. Quite stupid kn? Cause i shouldn't do it for him but for Allah. I knew i was wrong. But alhamdulilah, after we broke up, i still wear it eventhought he was not on my side anymore. And now i wear it for Allah.
I remember when i was with ashraf, i try to change my attitude. I try to learn to be patience and more understanding and not hot-tempered eventhought it felt so hard but still, i try for him. That is why i feel like i was fakers and a liar cause pretending in front of him. After we broke up, i realize that he didn't give me nothing good about myself and that he tried to change me to someone i don't even know. So, it was somehow a relief when he's gone.
I remember when i was sign up for matrikulasi, my dad ask me to choose pahang. I didn't realize it until i keep imaging when i was there. That's when i realize that pahang was his hometown and maybe there is possibility we will meet again. Why this one in list? Cause i've done nothing to change it. And i do it for him in order to meet him again one day... someday...
So, the lesson learn is that we shouldn't follow what our love ones want even if it was bad or good. Try to be yourself and follow your heart. And try to be independent and don't try to lean on him/her. Cause more likely he/she wouldn't be there..